I really need to get this off my chest. Dating in Toronto as a short (5’6), brown guy feels like the universe is actively conspiring against me. It’s like I hit every possible obstacle on the way to even getting noticed by someone, and at this point, I’m starting to feel like I’m doing something wrong… but I really don’t know what it is. I’ve heard the usual advice: “Just go out and meet people in real life” Trust me, I’ve tried everything. I’m also active on dating apps, but they just don’t seem to work for me—either I get ignored or things fizzle out before they even start. So, I’ve also tried joining social groups and talking to girls in public, making genuine connections, but honestly? All I get is soft rejection. It's not harsh, but it’s clear that I’m just not their type. And that’s even harder to deal with because you don’t get clear answers, just that "maybe next time" vibe.

I’m in my mid 20s and a newcomer to Toronto, so I’m still trying to figure out how this city works. I work in tech and music, and I’m really into finance, sports, music, travel, and movies. I also try to stay fit, even though I’m no fitness expert—I’m just doing my best. I keep myself busy with hobbies and try to stay open to meeting new people, but I’m starting to wonder if I just don’t have the right mix of things going for me. Do I not have enough hobbies? Am I not doing the right things? I try to stay active and keep my life interesting, but something just isn’t clicking. On top of that, as a brown guy, there’s this added layer of complexity. I feel like there’s a lot of people who either don’t see me as desirable because of my height or my race, or they only want to “experiment” with the idea of dating someone different, but not for something real. Girls from my own South Asian community seem to have their own preferences, and it's hard when you feel like you don’t fit the mold in any way. I know I’m only sharing my experience here, but it’s tough not to feel like I’m doing something wrong. It just feels like it’s an uphill battle, no matter how much effort I put in. Toronto is supposed to be a diverse, open-minded city, but sometimes it feels like the dating culture here is even more rigid than I expected. Also, is the whole “internet stereotype” thing real? I’m not even from IXXXA (we all know what I’m referring to so no offence to you guys), so the whole “brown guy” stereotype doesn’t even fit me, but it feels like I’m getting grouped into it anyway.

And to be clear, I’m not looking for sympathy—this is just me venting because it’s been frustrating. Maybe I’m overreacting, maybe I’m just in my head about all of this, but I’m curious to hear from others who’ve gone through the same thing.

Has anyone else been in the same boat? Does this get better, or is it just a matter of finding someone who’s really open-minded? Just trying to figure out if this is my reality or if there’s something I’m missing. Would love to hear your experiences.