So today (Aug 23) is my 3rd anniversary with my husband. In our past, we have had few 3somes, and my husband has been itching for another one. Not me though; I'm fine with just the two of us. Knowing what he wants though, I offered to try to find another woman to join us. Inside, I'm kinda falling apart. I want to make him happy, but looking for another woman on your anniversary just doesn't hit the right way yknow? Now it's almost like the day is a bust because I haven't found anyone to join us yet. I am sure a lot of people might think "well you did it a few times before, so I don't see why you're upset now" and I get it, I do. For some reason I'm more afraid of losing my partner now than before. I also get very insecure and can get jealous. All of which I've let my husband know about. Unfortunately for me, my husband will never NOT want a 3way. So idk what to do.

TL;DR anniversary is today and now im looking for another woman to join us, feeling like shit, instead of enjoying the day for what it initially is.