Last night, my husband, 9 year old son, and I were waiting for a streaming service to load and it just wasn't working... I said "Well that sucks big dick" pretty loud.

I barely got the last word out when it hit me what I said.. My eyes got huge as I glanced pass my son to my husband with a complete look of horror. My son was like "WAIT What, what does that mean? Why would you do that? That's gross". I glance back over to my husband; he had covered his mouth and looked away. I could tell it was taking every ounce of his being not to burst out laughing, which is literally the LAST thing you want to do with a 9 year old. You've got to just play it off like it is no big deal but I have NEVER managed to do that.

Now I'm in complete damage control mode. I'm like "Forget it Son, it's just a saying. But not a saying YOU can use". I'm praying that this is all I need to say to control the situation but NOPE he's got me cornered. Mom has obviously said something inappropriate and he wants the whole story. He just starts hammering me in his 9 year old way "What does that mean? That makes no sense... I don't get it". And I was absolutely losing it. Trying to tell him to drop it while laughing to hard I'm starting to have an asthma attack. Finally the streaming service loaded and his focus changed to that.

This morning I had to write my ex husband explaining how my son now knows "Well that sucks big dick".

TL;DR I scarred my 9 year old son by introducing him to the concept of "Sucking Big Dick"