About a week ago my ex called me and was in the dumps about her birthday because she doesn’t have a ton of friends in the town we met. I’ve recently left state a few months ago and have face-timed with her a few times since quarantine started, and since I’d left. We were on good terms more or less. She has always been going through some pretty awful mental health struggles that I can definitely relate to having been on and off anti-psychotics/bi-polar medication and ADHD medication most of my life, and I thought I’d offer to have her come out to hang out. This was a win win for me considering 1.) I’d see someone I consider to be one of my closest friends AND make their birthday special. 2.) we are both kind of on the same page sexually and want to still bang when we hang out.

We broke up because of how bad we fought when we’d drink, and I was hopeful that that had changed a bit. We are both bartenders, so we would drink often back when we dated. I have cut back considerably since moving, and she has been taking medication for about under a year now/not drinking as often cause of the quarantine and not having a job currently.

She flew in on Monday, and the first night we had a couple and she was already showing signs of being combative. I let it slide, slowed my roll and we went to bed with no issues.

The next couple days followed and we had a few here and there and would bicker like we used to, but I was smart enough to walk away and drop it and it just simmered down.

Well tonight was the night. After we had an incredible day together full of hiking and literally just enjoying each other’s company, I took her to dinner for her birthday night. It was an incredible dinner and I opted to not drink more than a cocktail and a glass of wine, because I was driving.

She didn’t seem drunk?? But once we got back to the air bnb we stayed at all hell broke loose. She was completely uninterested in hearing me out when she was being increasingly rude and refused to accept my apology, that I begrudgingly gave her to just bury the hatchet, and slammed the door of the air bnb we are at after stomping around and calling me an asshole.

I honestly don’t know what the point of this post is. I just needed to get it off of my chest and say it somewhere. I feel like an absolute idiot who got played for a fool. We have a two hour drive back home tomorrow and unfortunately she doesn’t leave until the following night.

I’ve decided that I really don’t want her in my life after this anymore, and while before when I felt like this it had something to do with our romantic past, now I think I just generally dislike her as a person. She’s selfish, stuck up, spoiled and generally a leech on my disposition. Maybe that’s extreme, but after the way things went down tonight I just don’t see her in my new life anymore. And for the first time since we broke up, that doesn’t hurt to think about.

How do I drive back home with her tomorrow while I feel like this? Is it bad I want her to go find a hotel or fuck off literally anywhere else for the night so I don’t have to see her again? Am I overreacting? Am I allowed to be upset after I’ve spent so much money on making sure she’s had a good time? Am I just an idiot?

TL;DR I’m an idiot who was lonely in his new state and flew his ex out for her birthday hoping it would be a great time only for it to be a huge reminder of why we’re not together anymore.