This happened earlier today and I’m typing it now because I could finally use my hands without them burning off.

My parents left home to go do some business so I thought that it would be nice to cook up some red beans to complete our family lunch. I looked around the fridge and couldn’t find the pepper I usually used (it’s not spicy at all, it simply adds flavor). I looked at the very back of the fridge and found a bowl of bright yellow peppers. I took one out and said “Ohhoho this looks like the hot pepper mommy uses for her mango preserves!” I broke a piece off and smelt it to see if it was hot but I didn’t smell anything. I happily took the pepper and carefully washed out the seeds with my fingers and cut it up. After cutting it up I thought “Hmm, this doesn’t look like enough for a pot of beans. Imma add one more!” So I did and put it into a bowl with the other seasonings for the beans. All of a sudden I started sneezing. Not just my usual sneeze, but those violent sneezes that make you wonder if you’re gonna behead yourself from the action. I didn’t think much of it until I started to choke on what seemed like nothing. My younger siblings had similar reactions as they walked past the kitchen table where I cut up the peppers.

Then I felt it. The sensation that my hand was on fire. I sucked it up and went about cooking the beans. When the beans were done my father came home and he tasted it. Instantly his face shriveled up and he was breathing heavily. If HE reacted like that, I knew something was wrong. My dad loves spicy foods but this pot of beans damn near killed him. He saw how sad I was and told me that my beans were a little on the spicy side but it was okay. It was just ‘flavor’. FREAKING LIES!!! He put a tiny amount of beans on top of each of my siblings’ rice and gave them macaroni pie. They cried. They couldn’t even eat a spoonful of the rice because it was so spicy because of the beans. They ate their pies and chicken wings and threw all the rice away.

Meanwhile, my hands were on FIRE. They were simultaneously burning hot and ice cold. My poor fingers were shaking and almost numb. I couldn’t even touch anything without it feeling like they were being slowly sawed off. Picture those people in those meat shops who have a slab of meat on a pole and they’re using a knife to slowly cut slices of meat off. That’s what it felt like. I was damn near ready to burst into tears. I washed my hands over and over to no avail. I washed the knife I used to cut up the peppers so that my family wouldn’t have to suffer and now my other hand was on fire. Nice. When my mother came back she told me that it’ll only get worse before it gets better. Sorry, wHat?! I paced all around the house shaking my hands and looking for some kind of remedy. Aha! Milk helps with pepper right? So I poured cold milk into a container and soaked my hand in it. It only relieved the pain for a few seconds then the murderous burning sensations were back. I was damn near ready to saw my hands off, the pain would be equal anyway. My mom was on the phone with her friend who suggested that I pour some vinegar over my hands to relief myself. That was the worst pain I’ve ever felt in my life. With tears streaming down my face I ran back to my mom shaking my head and rattling my hands mouthing “It ain’t working what to doooooo!!!!” She had no answer. I washed the vinegar off and tried some aloe. Same result. Anything that touched my hands made the pain way worse. After washing my hands off so many times I came to the realization that cold water had some kind of relief. I poured some icy water into a large bowl and went to my room with it to soak my hands and watch my Chinese drama in an attempt to distract myself from the torture. Then my friend texted me. Naturally, I picked up my phone and began to type out a response. The phones screen was warm because it was charging, but I guess that combined with my overly sensitive fingers, I set myself up for disaster. Each tap of my screen felt like a tiny wildfire spread across my palms. I’d dip my hands into the numbingly cold water to type again but I couldn’t take it anymore. I dropped my phone and decided to sleep so that I wouldn’t have to suffer. I couldn’t find a single position that was comfortable. I eventually opted to lying on my side with the bowl next to me to soak my hands once every few seconds to temporarily ease the pain. I quickly grew tired of it and just said “Frick it, I’ll just suffer and die in my sleep.” I Then proceeded to have the best sleep of my life while drifting in and out of consciousness. I woke up about 8 hours later and my hands are still tingly and sensitive but the pain is virtually gone. I thought about it then suddenly remembered that I happen to live in the area where one of the world’s hottest peppers could be found. The Chaguanas Pepper. We also have the Moruga Pepper which is higher on the list. That’s fun lol.

TLDR- Put the wrong pepper into a pot of beans and caused hours of pain and suffering.

Edit- after some quick research I found the pepper I used. It’s the Brainstrain Yellow Pepper. Rival to some of the hottest peppers in the world. That’s festive.