So it was about 2am and I decided to go to the bathroom. I looked down at my pubes and realised I was basically Tarzan down there. I look around the bathroom to find my clippers, only to realise my brother must of taken them with him when he went to stay at his girlfriends. Probably should of told him I used those for my pubes. Anyway, I look at alternatives and I see my razor. So right enough, I get to work. This shit is rough, but it’s making slow progress. I get most of the hair shaved exact for one area that is between my balls and my dick, and that clump of hair has been pissing me off. The razor gets caught on a bit of thick hair, but I carry on. Almost have it until.. “Holy fucking mother of god man!”. It hurt like a motherfucker. I look down and see a cut that went from the top of my balls to the bottom of my dick. It bled for a long while and still stings. I also woke my entire family up and didn’t have an alibi prepared. Anyway, this is the same story I’m going to have to awkwardly tell the doctor I’m meant to be seeing in an hour.

TL;DR: tried to shave my pubes with a razor and ended up with a huge cut on my dick and balls and now going to see the doctor.