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My (20M) best friend (21M) became friends 7 years ago. We started "experimenting" with our bodies about 8 months ago and it quickly escalated to straight up just having sex, he has made it very clear that he just wants to stay as friends and that he just sees me as a friend who is also someone he's intimate with, anyway. not today, but on saturday we did it at my place, usually after he finishes we just lay in bed and maybe say something like "omg that was great" but this time I just said "oh, I love you so bad", he hasn't said anything to me, he just grabbed his things and left, he hasn't messaged me or anything, and he hasn't responded any of my calls or texts, and I feel awful. I really doubt he'll talk to me ever again because he probably suspects I have feelings for him, and he's a bit homophobic towards himself. so yeah I just ruined a seven year frienship
TL;DR my best friend and I have casual sex and I ruined our friendship by telling him that I love him
EDIT: tysm to everyone, I wasn't expecting this amount of advice and support, I'm trying to respond to as many comments as I possibly can, I also made a small update in the comments
That's the problem with having sex with a "friend". These boundaries should not be crossed at all if you want to maintain a friendship. A friend should be someone who is strictly platonic. He stated his boundaries and what he wanted and you crossed it by saying what you said. The "friendship" you had was over the moment you started being physical together.
Wrong. This definitely is boundary crossing, especially when he was clear about what he wanted and expected. By saying "I love you", to him, it went against his stance and thoughts on just being "friends" whether or not it was intentional, and thus, he felt uncomfortable. People can state their own boundaries and that does not necessarily mean control over someone else. The main boundary here of course would be the act of having sex in the first place.
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so if the guy explicitly said "i don't want to hear you say i love you or anything relating to that", then that would be a boundary?