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Obligatory this didn't happen today; it's been almost a year but I was too mortified to post.

A little background: when I was a baby, my grandparents got divorced. It was pretty amicable; they both got remarried.

My step-grandma is only 7 years older than my mom. She's a chill person and loves animal memes and stories.

My step-grandad was closer to my gramma’s age and very mysterious – I never really got to know him.

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My gramma was widowed about 5 years ago. Shortly after her husband died she was diagnosed with breast cancer and got a mastectomy. Unfortunately, some of it had already spread to other parts of her body and her bones (I think that’s how it works? Sorry I’m not a medical doctor but that’s what I remember) and she periodically had to have other treatments. It took a more couple years, but she was eventually put on hospice care. During that time, she had several friends who would check on her but she also had 2 fulltime hospice nurses, one of whom had been my mom's good friend in high school. Close to the end, that nurse texted a bunch of us to come see her. Thankfully, her kids and more than half of her grandkids were able to do so.

Cue the f*** up. I saw my gramma only a few hours before she passed, and she was still lucid. I knew that her nurses said she was very close to the end but like…she was still responding to things and squeezed my hand. She had always been a stubborn person so I thought for sure she had weeks left, at least.

So when I found out that she had died, I started shaking and dropped my phone in a sink full of soapy dishwater. Of course I had to get my stupid phone replaced, and when I booted up the new one I saw a text from a number with the familiar area code - my step-grandma and my grandad lived less than 20 miles away from my gramma - with a condolence message: “I’m so sorry for your loss. I know that you two were close. Let me know if you need anything (hug emoji)”. I assumed it was my step-grandma and thanked her. I saved the number under my step-grandma’s name. And periodically over the 10 months I sent her memes and funny animal stories. Sometimes I texted her small stories about my nieces or other things that were going on. Her replies were mostly short but encouraging (just like my step-grandma’s) so I was none the wiser. I did notice that she texted more during the day than I had remembered that she would in the past – my step-grandma has a pretty busy job – but figured she maybe wasn’t as busy as I thought?

About a month after my grandma passed, I broke up with my boyfriend because of his genuinely cold behavior around my grief. He had seemed like a pretty decent guy but his reaction to the whole thing was alarming: he called me selfish for not wanting to go on a vacation with him right after and said it was her time to go and I should just accept it, already. My grandma had been my go-to for relationship advice but with her gone I thought step-grandma was the next best thing. “Her” reply was “you don’t know the person you’re with until something lifechanging happens” and that I had the right to feel alarmed about his response.

Shortly before Xmas, I texted to ask if her and my grandad had holiday plans yet, since I wanted to see them.

Her: I wouldn't know, I haven't seen him in years

Me: sorry, what?

Her: yeah I think the last time was at your mom's wedding?

Me: I'm confused. You two are married!

Her: I think I'd remember that!

Me: ....?

Her: I grew up with your mom - I don't think I could ever see your grandad like that.

It finally dawns on me, and I apologize for spamming her phone. She won't accept the apology since she said she thought it was just my way of grieving and she loved the cute animal messages.

I then had to get my step-grandma's number from my mom (who still ribs me about this) and called my step-grandma. She also hasn't let this go and makes jokes about me not having enough parents and forcibly adopting the poor hospice nurse.

I thought about sending the nurse flowers but figured texting her for months was odd enough.

TL;DR: Hospice nurses are angels and some of them love animal memes.