My teacher (53F) and I (21M) have become friends since I graduated 3 years ago and although everyone I’ve told has said it’s weird and she is 30 years older than me we both seem to think it’s pretty normal. We were close back when she was my biology teacher in 9th grade and once I moved on to 10th and eventually became a senior we always would greet each other in the hallways and I would stop by once the final period ended to talk to her. She always told me to never tell anyone about our meetings and even after I graduated told me to never tell anyone about our friendship which I thought was weird. We would always complement each others looks and talked about life, her divorce 10 years ago now, and how she regrets not having children until it was too late.

We have been talking pretty much daily, but I never thought of it as a sexual thing, especially considering our age gap and how I didn’t find her very attractive. She, however, started talking about her sexual needs around 2 years ago and would send me suggestive pictures every night of her in a bra or even lingerie. I promised myself I wouldn’t let my horny side take over and would never send anything back or entertain the idea of us meeting up and becoming intimate, but recently a girl I was talking to ghosted me and I am in a dark place mentally when it comes to relationships and women so last Friday night after celebrating St Patrick’s day with some buddies and having a few shots she sent me a picture in a towel and I sent her a picture back, it wasn’t a full frontal nude or anything just me in underwear and she went crazy!!!

She opened it immediately and replied with a bare chested picture that my drunken-self thought was stunning (reminder she never had kids and she was in good shape) I replied asking to see them in person and I said I would be driving from school back home next weekend. Once I woke up hungover that next morning I realized the mistake I made, I had 10 texts from her reminding me how excited she was to see me in person again and I knew there was no going back.

Fast forward to Thursday night I took the 4 hour drive back home and was thinking about ways to back out, but I’m too nice I couldn’t do that to a person who taught me and has helped me through the tough times of my transition to becoming an adult. So I caved in to my doubts and regrets and woke up the next morning called her and set up a time to meet. I drove over to her place at around 6 pm and she answered the door dressed in a robe with the top opened slightly. I was expecting dinner or at least time to catch up but she took me straight to the bedroom and made me sit down on her bed.

I didn’t know what I was fully getting into when I first made the decision to come she started treating me like a student giving me instructions and making me call her ms. (redacted) we had been on first name terms for around 6 years at that point. She told me I was gonna have to stay after class for some extra help and I felt like a child, hardly a man getting bossed around and treated like a student. I won’t get too graphic but we did the deed and I felt awful afterwards. Instead of our usual conversations she told me it was good to see me and I should let her know next time I’ll be in town. She didn’t even ask me how school was going or how my drive up was she just said goodbye and I left. Hungry, sad, and regretful. I felt like I had been used, but I know I started it and I agreed to it. This morning when I woke up I hadn’t received any messages from her and when I tried to reach out all I got was “busy talk later.” I don’t know what to do I feel like I lost one of my closest friends and someone who I could confide in and talk to after a rough day. I’ll try to update if things get better but I’m feeling pessimistic about it and my gut feeling is that things are gonna stay this way.

TL;DR my teacher and I became close friends once I graduated and I hooked up with her and ruined our friendship.