We are a throuple, we went to Florida for 2 weeks and on the way we stopped to see my partners nephew. My partner asked what I thought about him staying at his nephews place for the night to catch up as they hadn't seen each other for 10 years. I said to him " you make the decision, it's your choice, I'm fine with whatever." He asked me 3 times each time I said the same thing. My partner came out of a extremely controlling marriage where he never had a voice or was able to make choices without guilt being thrown at him. So I make sure he is allowed to make his own decisions and I am ok with it. If it's something I'm not we talk about it. He stayed at his nephews, my husband and I went back to the hotel. Once we got there my husband said I should have just said yes to the question because the way I answered was controlling him? I was dumbfounded, I said no, I sincerely was ok with whatever he decided. My husband said no that NY partner was hurt and felt controlled, he said he knew because he feels the same way when I do that to him. We got in an argument about it and he got mad and left saying I never listen to him and he was just trying to help me so my partner doesn't feel controlled like he has for the past 40 years. I was shocked and so hurt by this. He has always been able to do and go whenever he has wanted. He got angry and stormed out saying he was done and I need to start listening and nit being so defensive. ( this is what he does EVERY time we get in an argument and I try to defend my actions.) Question is , is what I said being controlling and question 2....is his storming out everytime a manipulation to make me see it his way? I hate arguing so 95% of the time I just give in. My partner was not at all feeling controlled. I talked with him and he said my husband was 100% wrong with saying I was controlling him.