I'm in a throuple, I'm 40m. My other halves are a married couple (m/f) both in their early 20s. I'm also a coworker with my gf we work together. I haven't had sex with either yet, just oral pleasure sessions but she is so eagerly anticipating the sex that it's turning me completely off! Her attitude and let-down faces she makes really urk me, I have told her multiple times that this turns me off and only prolongs my desire to initiate. I have also told both parties I have SA trauma from childhood that prevents me from being seduced or "in the mood" to initiate sex that I must be the one to initiate and on my terms, rough I know but it is what it is. Im also 40 and my libido is slowing down due to some medications, and neither of them seem to understand, they say they do but the attempts to seduce me into sex just makes me pull away all the more. I'm a tough one to handle when it comes to my sex life they knew this going in, I've never had a high sex drive even in my prime and it's all due to the SA I experienced as a kid. Should I let them down slowly or ask if sex is a determination factor then I need out because I simply am not one that can just "do it", also her thirst for sex is scary because she wants it all the time, thankfully she's married to a guy who can satisfy her but she craves even more because I'm there now but my limits are causing me to feel more like an object than a person.

Also side note, she's jealous of the friendship I've stroked up with her husband but it's simply because he and I can bond over stuff aside from sex she is waiting on the side lines with only one goal in mind and that's what's in my pants, it's so frustrating. Any advice or suggestions are greatly appreciated.