I (29f) met my husband (34M) when I was 19 (he was 24). We hit it off but lived 600 miles apart. 2 months into our relationship he came to see me and I lost my virginity to him. We moved in together 3 months later to our half way point. We began to work and continued our college education. A few months in I discovered he’d been on dating apps and I decided to leave. He cried and begged me to stay. He swore he’d change and that he needed me. I like any 20 year old dumbass believed and stayed. 2 months later my birth control failed. I found out I was pregnant exactly 2 days after getting legally married. Fast forward I’m 4 months postpartum and he brings up polyamory…. Long story short I never agreed. But with time he began to say things like “I don’t care if you like it I’m going to look for my happiness “ I truly love him but it hurt. Little by little I guess I convinced myself that I was ok with it (in fear of him doing it behind my back). We enjoyed sexting when we were dating so I’d try doing that. I guess it wasn’t the same. I eventually began to read literotica and figured we could talk about imagining certain scenarios (FMF)… in the 8 years we have had 2 children and a loss between them with 4 after our youngest (total of 7 pregnancies) he’s been saying he wants a second wife to have more kids with. I obviously am not ok with this. Eventually I got to a point where I reached out to an old friend who who’d recently been divorced asking about “when do you know it’s time to let go” my husband always said he’d be of with be being with other men so I figured a little flirting and exchange of pictures wouldn’t hurt (he did it multiple times in our marriage… once while I was losing our baby in the hospital alone)… at first it turned him on but then he began to say I was cheating on him… he’s stuck to that and is asking for a divorce. I’ve been a SAHM most of our marriage, didn’t complete my degree because I had no support to do so (I actually dropped some classes to help him finish his classes). Where do I even start. I need to get out of this situation asap and do not want to deal with him setting rules in order to financially support me and our kids.