I used to believe in the value of challenge.

Now I believe in "challenge yourself" and "don't depend on others."

You wouldn't have to be lazy to fail at therapy. Not brave enough. Not dedicated, committed. Supposedly, everyone is all good people, has the potential to be good people. We are only judged by how hard we work. And hard work tends to pay off.

I have a lot of criticisms about therapy and a lot of ideas about why it doesn't work. But one of the reasons is just the tendency for people in general to not give you the truth for free.

If you're like, being coached in a sport, and you slack off or something, like a coach might yell at you. Like ONE MORE REP type of deal. That's how they change you. That's one kind of social interaction in life. Life is about family, and friends, and children...teachers...work relationships...

But people in general deal with people in a way where you get through the world by keeping your knowledge to yourself. Therapy is a special place...but just because you're paying someone for a service, and just because supposedly the profession is dedicated to healing people...doesn't mean it can overcome that tendency.

It's a sucker's game to submit to this "deal." Oh if you bring your everything, if you're brave, if you challenge yourself you'll be rewarded. Therapists (and people in general) don't tell people the truth because it's a liability. I don't disagree with that, it is a liability. And there's little reward for them.

And you're supposed to learn how to be less anxious. To have a healthier relationship with people around you. To have a better sense of reality...and it doesn't work because you cannot rely on other people to reflect the truth. Socializing is complex. Some people are better at it than others. You are going to have a harder time coming up to speed, and therefore lessening your anxiety and improving relationships with people...when you're interacting with someone and they only hit you with the truth as a way to control you or retaliate against you.

How the heck does that teach you to be uninhibited and confident? How does that teach you to gauge reality accurately, and see patterns and navigate life better? It really doesn't.

Think about someone you really like...now, everyone you deal with in life isn't this, but imagine you really like someone...would you keep them at arm's length? And would you see in all the ways they were not self aware....and store that up in your brain...and every time they did something you didn't like, you try to discourage them with a punishment? A very effective and cruel punishment because there's an element of truth to it? No you wouldn't.