In my experience as a patient it's been suggested to me that I should feel sorry for myself for certain things that I honestly didn't dwell on. And at the same time, I was accused of pitying myself for other things. Anyone else?

Anyway, I came out if it like... yeah it's good to grieve things, and ideally people should have a full range of human emotions. It's not ideal to blunt your emotions, but it can be practical. And also, I think I realized that however it was I was acting was not very attractive to make them give me that self pity comment. And my goal isn't to be unpleasant of course...but you know what, I still believe "you should feel sorry for yourself because sometimes no one else will." You can look at it as not being brave and as giving up. Like not doing your physical therapy even though it hurts, that you are depriving yourself of something with your pity. But I think that for one it was kind of a lie that there was such an improved way of being through psychological exercises...but also that feeling sorry for yourself is like the opposite of giving up in a way. You are helping yourself...you are helping yourself transform your anger, which is a liability unless there's some outlet for it. It helps you understand your emotions and accept disappointment, instead of just operating blindly and not knowing why you feel bad. Anyway, I think I fall into the trap of limited perspective and maybe don't hide my pity well enough, or feel like other people would be sympathetic to it when it can be an ugly emotion and it's natural not to like it unless it's your own or it's relatable.