Hello everyone. For a long while i have been very lonely and have been seeking a relationship, but i am finally in a good stable and healthy one and yet all i can think about is leaving them for someone who treats me poorly. I dont feel whole without that and my heart aches for it but i really dont want to mess up what i have that is good in my life for this. I really dont know what to do or why i feel this way, but i feel like it will ruin my relationship because i cant stop seeking out older men online. Just as a side note im 17 and a trans girl in case either of those things really matter. I just desperately want to leave them for someone who will call me names or hit me. I havent even been abused really besides my ex so im not sure where this is coming from