TL;DR: I can't talk about anything with anyone and I feel I'm pushing people away because of it

I'm maybe looking for advice, maybe just to rant - I'm not sure, but this has been an "issue" for as long as I can remember. I've never really opened up to anyone about any problems I've had; even when I've been to see therapists/counsellers/etc, I'd spend the session sat in silence occasionally giving yes/no answers because I can't bring myself to answer or don't want to answer until they decided that they couldn't do anything and discharge me, which is what I would be waiting for anyway.

This has come up recently with a friend of mine who seems to be trying to check up on me from time to time. I appreciate the concern but I still can't talk about things and I definitely don't want to lie and say things are fine when they're not. More than that, though, I don't want to push them away by being avoidant/dismissive when they ask.

I'm diagnosed depressed, anxious and autistic, if that is of any significance.

Edit: formatting