About 6 months ago, my wife approached me and let me know that she was exploring a romantic/sexual relationship with someone she goes to for healing/bodywork work (which is normally done in the nude).

(We had discussed opening our relationship before, but this was a bit of a bolt out of the blue)

I expressed to her that the way she was describing this all raised red flags to me, that it sounded like he had very inappropriatly broken numerous professional boundaries and this seemed creepy at minimum... and likely more. I was concerned about her.

She blew me off.

Six months later, she has had an incredibly emotionally unstable period of life, that has damaged her relationships with our kids. She'd broken off our marriage and was seeking divorce until a few days ago.

A few days ago, she told me details of her first physical encounter with this guy.

It was UNQUESTIONABLY sexual assault. She has continued a relationship with him to feel power over the relationship, I believe, the logic being approximately: "oh, if I continue to see him and go on dates as a friend, then it means that I really had control over that situation and it really was consent, because if it was a bad experience I would just stop seeing him."

He continued to tell me about how she has chosen to process this all, choosing consciously and working hard to maintain the mindset that she is not a victim and nothing bad happened to her.

But I think it's psychologically wrecking her. And I think she has omitted pretty much all the pertinent details, including that this happened at all, from sessions with her therapist.

I had a conversation with her best friend recently, who I am also close with. Said friend was completely oblivious to this and not faking- she'd never even heard of this guy.

I know, obviously, The therapist is not going to talk to me.

But would it be out of bounds or a bad idea for money to leave a voicemail or send an email to send therapist, voicing my concerns that my wife is seriously repressing something that is damaging her life, mental, and physical health?