I'm not sure how much information I should actually give here for context so I'll start with a:
TLDR: I've been in and out of therapy for about 10 years but have never had a clear goal for what I want to get out of it because I don't really care about myself. I would like some advice on if it's even worth trying again without a goal.

If you need more context, I was diagnosed as autistic a couple of years ago, also deal with depression and anxiety and have done since I was about 10 years old (the first time I remember having a panic attack due to bullying) and am now 28. I'm probably carrying some trauma but I feel uncomfortable assigning that to myself.

All through school, college, and even into work, I've always dealt with bullying and low self esteem and everything that comes with that. I've been gradually getting worse as time goes on.

I know I can't keep going on as I am but whenever the question is posed like "how would I like things to be" or similar, I have no answer because I have no concept of anything else; it's always been like this and I can't imagine things being any different.

I can give more details if people ask but I think that's enough context.