EDIT: Because this is coming up in the comments, yes, trainings and remaining up to date on evidence based practice is vital to competent care. The purpose of this post is to uplift and not to hand-wave the importance of necessary trainings and certifications in modalities that can offer new and better ways of healing.

This is my second post in like 24 hours lol, but seeing all the burnout posts reminded me that it might help some of you to share something that I learned a few years ago and keeps me warm on cold days where I question my competency.

I used to work full-time in hospice social work before I shifted to sit-down counseling (and I miss it DEEPLY, but I needed a break from the field, it's heavy work). I became friends with a much older physician, someone with 30 years of experience in hospice. He seemed like the most balanced, peaceful human being in the world at times, and as a young social worker with the world on my shoulders and frustrated that I had no power over the systems under which my patients suffered, I spent a lot of time agonizing to him in his office and in the halls of the hospice house. I told him how worried I was that I wasn't doing enough for our patients, or that I wasn't listening patiently enough, or that I wasn't giving them my best because I was tired/hungry/burnt out/depressed, etc.

One day, we were decompressing after a particularly challenging family meeting where we delivered difficult news about a patient's prognosis to their loved ones. I tried my best to be centered and calm, but our patient's wife was tearful and anxious. I told my doctor friend that I felt awful that I had done nothing to alleviate her suffering.

His response was: "SolidVirginal, had you not been there, she would have been inconsolable. You have no power over her pain, but your presence was enough. You, as you are, is exactly what the hurt person in front of you needs in that moment."

I try hard to not forget that. Sometimes I'm exhausted, sometimes I cry between sessions, sometimes I get sick and don't feel well, sometimes I make a mistake in my professional judgment and I have to take accountability. But I'm not a machine, I'm a human being, and the other human being on my couch simply needs me as I am. I am always enough, just as I am.

The power of simply being is the most important tool in our toolboxes. I hope all of you remember that, even on your off days, your presence, attention, and expertise is always enough for the hurt people in front of you.