Hi everyone, Im a 25f that just had her first encounter w/ MM... I enjoyed it and hated it at the same time. So for the first night, he told me he had been in town for a while for work. His tinder account said he was only looking for fun and so was I. So we made arrangements for him to come over, but on his way over he called me to tell me is married and that he wanted to be honest with me. So I asked him why was he doing this, and he honestly told me he didn’t have an excuse why he was. So I asked him if he still loved and cared for her because I know some people can still be in love with a person. Then there are some who are out of love with a person but can still give love to that person. He said he did love and care for her, he just didn’t know why he was doing it. So I used to always stray away from situations like this because I don’t want to hurt someone’s relationship. I respect the boundaries of all forms of relationships. But this time I thought that since they were separated by states, it’s fine. That if he’s not with me, there could always be another so why not just take care of my needs.. so I did, and it continued for about a handful of days. Since the first night-he would call multiple times throughout the day to talk(multiple days), show me some personal items he owned, would say things about staying around, and had a few intimate moments together. But now he is gone back home and it’s been a few days. For a moment there I missed his company, so I thought maybe I should text him. But I was worried that if I did, would she find out about me? Would I have gotten us caught if I did, I instantly felt ashamed and awful for what I had done. I didn’t want to feel ashamed for wanting to talk to him, and that I wished this was under different circumstances.but it’s not and I feel as though I don’t deserve to try and pursue anything right now. If something good happens for me, why would I even deserve it? I feel as though no matter how many good acts I can commit, none will equal to this one bad act. Im so alone in my thoughts about this and don’t have anyone to turn to on the matter. I guess I just wanna know if there are others who cut something off w/ MM and started to miss them? How did you feel and what did you do?