Gentlemen,

Are you one of the noble particle effect wielding hat owners? Are you perpetually dissatisfied with the offers you're getting for trades on your amazing rare hat? Maybe the problem isn't the hat at all but instead it's your PRESENTATION of the hat. Advertising goes a long way when you're trying to move products, and hats are no different!

When trading, most of you post pictures of your hats that look like this.

For the low price of two keys (or 5 refined metal) I will work with you to make a completely customized advertisement for your hat that looks something like this, which does a lot more justice to the effect of the hat than this when you're trying to trade it, though I do admit they also work as great wallpapers.

FAQ:

1) This seems like something i could do myself.

Can vs will. You CAN wash your car but you have probably paid someone else to do it in the past. You CAN make your own meals but you eat at resturants sometimes too. Though you can screenshot your own hat, this is more work than simply taunting once and pressing F5.

2) Okay, but two keys?! That's a bit steep.

Clearly you are poor and irish and blessed to be in possession of the hat you have. You should count yourself lucky that someone as frugal as yourself stumbled into such a valuable item. And by god, never trade it lest you risk getting swindled by a rich man who knows the value of hard work and obsessive attention to detail.

Seriously though, keys cost $2.50 and it takes the better part of an hour to (properly) make one of these. What do you charge per hour of work? It's probably more than $5.00.

3) Logistically speaking, what do I as the hat owner have to do?

Find or host an empty server with a map you want as your background, join it with me, and walk around for a while. No trades are made, you never lose posession of your hat. I record a demo and take everything I need from there.

4) Do you have other examples of your work?

Absolutely! I've done dozens of these, but here are some highlights:

Beams Trophy Belt

Hearts Fedora

Scorching Flames Stash

Vivid Plasma Attendant

5) Why are the screenshots at 1280 x 720? Can't your puny computing device run the game in full glorious 1080p?

Of course it can! I do all the source capturing at 1080p with 8xaa and 16xaf, highest detail settings, all that jazz. After that I scale the image size to 720p in photoshop because in spite of all that AA and AF, some textures still look muddy, and some aliasing still happens. Scaling down in photoshop softens everything and eliminates most of stark visual abnormalities. If you're getting one for a desktop background I can scale to any aspect ratio and resolution up to 1080p.

6) How do I know you won't just take the keys/metal and run?

Because you aren't expected to hand over anything until my work is completed. When I've finished, I submit a lower res version that you approve or request changes to be made to. Once you like it, I upload the higher res version and after you send over the items, I send over a link.

7) I am the proud owner of many glorious unusuals. Do you have some sort of bulk discounts?

Of course I do! 3 hats for 4 keys or 5 for 5 keys.

8) You've sold me! How do I contact you to get this started?

You can find my steam profile and add me to your friends list, or just pm me on reddit!