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so last night i remembered the annoying orange parody of the ring called the onion ring and i realized just how much of a psychological torture and body horror masterpiece it is
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OK so first off let's explain the similarity's to the ring

in both you watch a tape then get a phone call that says 7 days then 7 days later someone from the video crawls out of the TV the difference is in the ring she only kills you orange is so much worse

he turns you into an onion ring no limbs unable to move or do anything but talk while you just sit there unable to move everyone who cares about you won't know what happened to you oh and as for death you will either be eaten by a pet which is an awful way to go or in 10-12 months you will start to rot alive oh and i would like to add in the video after orange comes out of the TV it jumps to another 7 days later meaning for 1 whole week they did nothing but sit on the couch while orange talked endlessly to them until their dog came and ate them maybe if you're lucky and you have people who truly care for you they will send an officer over to investigate at which point he will find an onion ring and an orange he won't be able to see your face or hear you no one will he'll probably thing some fucked up new killer left a calling care then he'll watch the tape and seven days later same deal if you're lucky and still alive (if you can even call it lucky) you'll get to talk to the officer maybe he'll tell you that he just got married and has a kid on the way and now that kid will grow up without a dad and he will never know what really happened maybe he'll grow to hate and resent his dad for leaving kids who grow up with an absentee parent are more likely to rebel by turning to drugs and alcohol and sex at a younger age in the reality show the rehearsal while talking with a guy about people growing up with only 1 parent he mentioned knowing people who were doing pills and having sex as young as 13 and know that officer is crying because his son's going to hate him for leaving and all he wants to do is let his wife know he loves her one last time let her know what happened and he can't nobody will ever know what happened as he lies there in the same spot he's been in for 3 days then you hear the words you've been dreading to hear "hey onion rings dog" then you watch in horror as on command the dog runs over and picks up with officer and begins chowing him he screams in agony experiencing a level of pain unknown to us as what's left of him is ripped apart no heart or brain inside to end it he just has to sit there for 30 long miserable seconds being chowed apart and swallowed probably still alive so he can be digested alive the dog turns to you and does the same as you are burnt by you're dogs stomach acid crying out in pain a sound heard by no one but the officer and once again nobody will ever know what orange did to you

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1 year ago