So first off I wanna apologize if this one comes out a little jumbled my dudes, this is a hard subject for me and I just need to dump it somewhere I guess. TW for mentions of suicide I guess. No “too long, didn’t read” on this one. If y’all don’t feel like reading the whole mess, that’s fine.

Background info: when I was 16, around 3 years ago now, I had a very serious suicide attempt. I was in the icu for about a week, and doctors were pretty shocked that I woke up and didn’t have any serious damage to my organs or brain function. Hell, they were surprised I could walk. I ended up in a mental hospital for a month, and then 3 months after my discharge I went back for around a year and a half

Okay so my little brother had a project in school, it was to write a speech about something that impacted him.

He decided to do his depression has impacted his family. Naturally, this topic kind of revolves around me a bit. That’s fine and all, no issues there. I impacted him and he has the right to have a voice about it.

Unfortunately my mom is batshit and decided the best way to jog his memory well enough to write a grade worthy speech was to give him a play by play of my suicide attempt specifically. How many pills I took, how I had seizures, me being in a coma for days. All fairly terrifying shit that honestly doesn’t really show what depression is, just cause and effect. He came to me just now and told me because he apparently told my mom to stop telling him and she kept going. I also found out that he saw me unconscious before I went to the ICU, a detail my parents apparently decided to leave out. This is so fucked. I feel like I can’t escape my past.