I just need to post this to vent. You can ignore it if you want, I don’t care.

So, I was cleaning out my closet yesterday, and I found a time capsule I made for myself 5ish years ago, back when I was 13. I got excited, so I opened it up to see how far I’ve come as a person since then. I started reading the letter I left for myself, and then it hit me as I was reading this. I haven’t changed at all. I’m still isolating myself from everyone so I don’t get hurt. I’m still sick of being alone, but afraid to open up. I’m still stuck in a depressive spiral. I still hate myself, but lack the motivation to change. I guess the worst part of it is, when I got to the bottom of the letter I found that I had left myself a question. “Does it ever get better?” And right now, if I had to answer that question, I’d say no. That kinda broke me. I’m sure I’ve changed in tons of little ways since then, but on the inside, I’m still that lost and scared kid who’s afraid of the world.

TL;DR: I hate myself still