I don't know how to feel. I guess I'm just lonely. I just want that one person where we can just hold each in a loving embrace for all eternity. I'm about to finish school and don't have any plan. No one has hired me for a job in the past 2 years so I'll probably be living with my family contributing nothing to anything. I just feel so useless. All i do is go to school, hangout with friends at school then go home and maybe play video games. I only have a few real friends, which is good but they probably aren't gonna be around for long. I want so kind of purpose. I want a girlfriend. I want to make her happy. I sometimes feel that I want a gf for selfish reasons like feeling like I matter or so I have a reason to grateful (I can't tell if those are actually selfish reasons or it's just my brain being an asshole). I'm loved by my family but I don't know why that isn't good enough. I just wanna wake up next to a woman I love and just warm from her embrace. I don't know what I'm feeling.