Hi guys, newcomer here. :) I've been playing around with my tarot deck more recently- I don't often have chances to do readings for others unfortunately, so a lot of it is learning the card meanings and learning the spreads by asking generic questions ('what should I do with this cash windfall?' or 'my relationship is going through an ordeal, how should I address it?', etc) that querents might ask. I have a few blind spots but overall, these generic readings and reading for friends and family are logical and seem to provide insights.

Whenever I turn the cards on myself though... The cards come out seeming so irrational. Just non-pertinent and random, or occasionally plain negative. When I do readings for others or a phantom querent, I can see the duality in the reading, but reading my own is either mumbo-jumbo or scary.

Is this just part of the phenomenon of tarot reading or do you think it represents close-mindedness? I feel like I am pretty self-aware, although obviously I have some inward doubt and confusion, and of course flaws. Personally, it sort of bothers me that I can't draw a satisfying spread for myself, but maybe other people experience this too. I'd love to hear your insight.