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I got a DM with questions about how my partner does NEOs, but since we've already been discussing the subject in a recent post, I decided to share the answers in a new thread instead of answering privately:
Does he do and maintain a hard kegel a few seconds from PONR? Specifically at the point where he knows he will tip over with a few more seconds of stimulation.
Yes
Does he continue stimulation with a hard kegel between before reaching PONR and finally reaching PONR?
Yes, he continues stimulation (or I do, if I'm doing a lingam massage). As for the kegel, there can be some overlap if he holds the kegel a little longer than necessary. But if he starts, say, 2 seconds before the PONR would have happened and holds it for 2 seconds, that's usually sufficient. (Reminder: all times are guesstimates.)
Does he let go of his hard kegel after he has reached PONR (at the point where he would have ejaculated without a kegel)? Or does he wait for a few seconds for the PONR to pass before releasing the kegel? I wanted clarification on your statement of relaxing into the orgasm.
Usually he releases right around the time the PONR would have happened, but sometimes after. If he's still holding the kegel when the contractions begin, he always stops as soon as he feels them. Continuing to hold a kegel after the contractions begin is harder and diminishes the pleasure.
From what I understood, is it required to maintain a hard kegel for at least 20 seconds from start to finish?
No, definitely not. It's a good idea to strengthen your PC muscles to where you CAN hold a kegel that long – at least 10-15 sec – but there's no need to hold it that long in practice once you know what you're doing. (I'm going to check my old blog posts. I may need to update them on this.)
Does performing a hard kegel before PONR cause retrograde ejaculation?
No. It can't. There isn't any semen in the urethra before the PONR. Retrograde ejaculation only occurs when the urethra is blocked and muscular contractions force semen in the urethra to go backward into the bladder.
What is his kegel practice regimen?
He does a minute or two of kegels while brushing his teeth. I do the same thing. Once you make it a habit, it's easy to remember and the duration is about the same.
Okay, an addendum: People keep asking about before and after the PONR, and I've answered as if that's a real thing, but Z says it's not. If you do this right, you won't really HAVE a distinct PONR sensation before a dry orgasm.
Keep in mind that the normal male orgasm is a three-phase process. For historical reasons these are labeled 0-1-2 instead of 1-2-3:
Phase Zero: Initiation. The orgasm starts in the brain. An electrical wave that looks like an epileptic fit on an EEG starts in the frontal lobes and sweeps over the whole brain. It feels great, but your cognitive processes are impaired for 10-20 seconds..
Phase One: Emissions. About 1-2 seconds after the start of Phase Zero, the brain tells the relevant glands to EMIT stored fluids. This includes the pituitary, just under the brain, which dumps a load of prolactin into your blood stream; the seminal vesicles in your prostate area, which squirt seminal fluid (precum) into your urethra; and the Cowper's glands, two small glands that add additional ingredients to the seminal fluid. The brain also signals your vas deferens to push sperm into the waiting blob of seminal fluid, which turns into the cloudy white stuff called "semen." Important: you can feel the semen production happening and learn to recognize it as the "PONR."
Phase Two: Ejaculation. About 1-4 seconds after the start of Phase One, the brain triggers a series of contractions in the muscles surrounding the prostate and urethra, forcing the semen forward, if possible, or backward if that path is blocked.
You feel Phase 1 as the PONR and Phase 2 as the start of ejaculation. Your goal, however is to learn to recognize Phase Zero, the ACTUAL start of the orgasm, and immediately act to interrupt the signal for Phase 1.
What you're trying to do is get Phases 0 and 2 to happen while skipping Phase 1, the emissions phase. And the important thing about skipping the emissions phase is not the absence of semen, but the absence of that squirt of prolactin that would cause you to lose your erection.
Anyway, the point is that if you are successful in interrupting the signal for Phase 1, there's no real PONR sensation. You just feel the contractions starting in Phase 2.
For more info on all this:
And here's a big collection of resources:
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