Recap: Magic tricks made a chassis and a tech disappear.

Part 1

Part 2

$BT – Me

$DTECH – Day shift data center technician

$OPM – Operations Manager

$CU – Technician from [The Customer]

$SEC - Security

When we last left off, I was stuck explaining to $OPM how the chassis (and $DTECH, and the movers) had disappeared, without a shred of evidence to show the customer.

$OPM – HE WHAT!?

$BT – He left, sir.

$OPM – What about the movers?

$BT – Also gone, sir. The customer will be here soon. What would you like me to tell him?

$OPM stopped for a moment. I could hear his brain conjuring up some scheme to get the [Data Center] out of having to pay for this.

$OPM – Is there any documentation of it happening?

$BT – I’m not sure how to answer that.

$OPM – Did anyone actually document that a [BRAND] chassis fell down that maintenance shaft?

$BT – I don’t know, sir. You’ll have to ask $DTECH.

That was a lie.

I knew the truth, but the reality is that I wasn’t about to contribute to whatever $OPM was scheming.

$OPM – Who signed off on the moving company’s manifest and acknowledgement of receipt?

$BT – It had to have been $DTECH.

$OPM – Fine. Say nothing to the customer about this until I tell you to. We’ll discuss it when I get in.

Side note:

[Telco] (where I used to work) was a customer of the [Data Center]. And I know that I would have been PISSED if someone lied to me about knowing where my chassis (and cards) were.

-Click-

Well, that went about as well as could be expected.

After several hours of waiting and watching the clock, the customer finally showed up at the operations center door.

$BT – Yes, sir. How can I assist you?

$CU – Yeah, we were doing inventory on the equipment that was recently delivered to our cage…

$BT – Okay.

$CU – And we noticed we’re missing a few things.

A few things?

There should only be one thing.

One.

$BT – Okay, let’s go to your cage and have a look.

$CU – Oh no, I brought the manifest with me.

$BT – No, I really should look and verify it for myself.

I eyed the operation center’s camera while doing this, hoping he would take the hint.

He didn’t.

$CU – Really, it’s fine to do it here.

Bro.

$BT – No, I insist. Company policy says we should verify inventory first hand if there’s a discrepancy.

I subtly motioned to the camera with my head again, and this time he got the hint.

$CU – Oh, yes of course.

As we stepped out onto the floor and out of earshot of the cameras in the operations center (the floor cameras were video only), I broke down for him exactly what had happened.

$CU – You’re kidding me!

$BT – I wish I was. But seriously, you didn’t hear all of this from me.

Not like it couldn’t bite me in the ass anyways, right?

$CU – No, I understand.

$BT – Do you have a copy of the signed manifest?

$CU – Of course.

$BT – $OPM will be in, in a few hours. Go see him and bring that with you. When he tries to blow you off, don’t take no for an answer. You’ll also want to go talk to the night shift maintenance personnel for the building and see if they can get you into the basement so you can take pictures of your crashed chassis.

$CU – Thanks, man. I really appreciate it.

$BT – Hey, I would want to know if I was in your shoes.

After that, I headed back to operations and waited.

To be continued…

Kidding. Kidding.

After a few hours, $OPM came through the door, his typical look of morning frustration mixed with smoldering rage. It wasn’t long after he arrived, that $DTECH came in for his regular shift. The two of them talked in $OPM’s office for close to twenty minutes, before shaking hands.

I wasn’t privy to the exact nature of their conversation, but it looked like they agreed to a plan of some kind.

Then, not thirty minutes after $DTECH and $OPM had agreed to a plan, [The Customer] came walking through the operations center door.

And behind him were two men with building maintenance, carting a now thoroughly broken chassis.

I could have gone home at that point. My shift was over and I really had no reason to stay, other than to watch the fireworks start. The operations center was full of technicians from both shifts by now, and everyone had a pretty good idea of what was about to go down.

$CU – Can someone tell me why my [BRAND] chassis was at the bottom of a maintenance shaft.

As he said this, he pushed over the dolly, causing the heaping mess of what was once a chassis to crash loudly onto the operations center floor.

Holding up the manifest, he continued.

$CU – Who is $DTECH?

Everyone looked at each other, too scared to say anything. $OPM was still in his office, and by now had dialed security.

$DTECH – That would be me.

$CU – I’m only going to ask you this once, but is this your signature?

$DTECH –Well, yes, but…

$CU – It is? Then why did you sign the line here indicating that everything was delivered, and initial the part that states that there were no claims?

$DTECH – I don’t-

$CU – Because you’re a fucking idiot. Do you know what this costs?

As he said this, he pointed at the scrap pile on the floor.

By now security had arrived.

Side note 2:

Our security team that morning consisted of two unarmed, mid-70’s pseudo-retirees who were only employed there to have something to do. Their actual skills as, “security,” were close to nil.

$SEC – Sir, would you mind stepping out of the operations center, please?

$CU – Fuck that. Do you know what these assholes cost our company?

$SEC – Sir, I understand, but I’m going to need you to fill out a formal complaint if you have an issue.

At this, $CU looked at me, winked, and calmly walked out the room.

The glares I got from $DTECH and $OPM that day were forever burned into my memories.

Epilogue: When word reached upper management about what had gone down that morning (and the night before), an investigation was conducted.

$DTECH was let go just a few weeks later, after the investigation concluded.

$OPM was put on notice and proceeded to make everyone’s life a living hell until he quit a few months later to work as a frontline engineer.

The [Data Center] eventually settled with [The Customer].

Two months later, $CU and several of his colleagues came by to begin the next phase of their expansion and stopped by the operations center. When I asked him about how everything had gone down, he simply replied,

“Do you realize how often things break during a move? If your company had been honest with us from the start, we would have just filed an insurance claim and moved on. Instead, my bosses wanted to prove a point.”