Recap: Fiona’s first love, Julio has unexpectedly returned from a supposedly fatal shipwreck. Will their love reignite? Or will Gustavo’s machinations come to fruition?

$FIO – Fiona

$JUL – Julio

$GUS – Gustavo

$MAMA – Fiona’s mother

$ED – Eduardo, Julio’s father

When we last left off, Fiona was crying at Julio’s feet, while the salty ocean waves crashed around them.

$FIO – Julio, my love, how can this be? I was told that you had died at sea and that your ship had been destroyed by the deep. So how is it that you’ve returned to me?

$JUL – Fret not, my dear. I was dead, but Poseidon has returned me from the ocean’s depths, and renewed my body with even greater vigor.

$FIO – Oh, Julio. If only your return had come sooner.

She throws herself into his arms, tears flowing from her eyes.

$JUL – What it is, my love?

$FIO - I am to be wed to Gustavo this fateful evening, and it is-

Wait.

Fuck.

Sorry guys, wrong tale.

Proper Recap: Shit was crooked, yo.

And broken.

Very, very broken.

Part 1

Part 2

$BT – Me

$DT – Data Center Tech. Problem causer. Sometimes problem solver.

$OPM – Operations Manager

When the last part of the tale ended, we were waiting for our Operations Manager to get in. He was not at all happy about the fact that one of his techs had destroyed an expensive card(s) and chassis. By now, we both were in his office, repeatedly explaining the situation.

$OPM – Tell me again, exactly what happened.

This was the fourth time he wanted me to explain it to him. By now, my last cup of brew had worn off, and I was in rough humor.

$BT – I understand what your trying to do. But I wasn’t in the cage when the card was installed. I was helping another customer with a high severity trouble ticket.

$OPM – But why weren’t you watching him?

$BT – He’s sitting right here, talk to him.

I looked down at the paper I had printed off.

$BT – Here’s the email with him taking point. And you stating that you wanted him to. I was just the added set of hands.

$OPM – That doesn’t matter. You have more experience with this sort of thing.

Say what now?

$BT – If you recall, and I’ve explained this many times, I am not a Juniper guy. I have dealt with [Brand A], [Brand B], [Brand C], and [Brand D] a ton at my old job, but Juniper is not my strong suit.

$OPM – A card is a card.

$BT – If that’s the case, then why did you specifically single out the fact that he had, “invaluable Juniper experience,” in your email chain as his qualification for taking the lead role?

At this, $OPM’s face turned red. He knew he was beat, but his pride wasn’t going to let it stand. Looking at $DT, he continued.

$OPM – I’m disappointed. This is going to cost us a lot of money and is going to hurt our numbers for the year.

Side note:

Data centers have uptime requirements that they agree to. Typically it’s somewhere between �.9999 to �.99999. If a circuit (or in this case a chassis) goes down, that uptime number takes a hit. Not only is it a point of pride, but it can also cost the company and employees money.

$DT – I’m sorry. I thought I could handle it.

Obviously you couldn’t.

Seeing as the point had come up several times (in this conversation alone), I felt the question had to be posed.

$BT – I’m just curious, what Juniper equipment specifically did you have experience with?

At this, $DT’s face lit up and a look of pride crossed his brow.

$DT – Why, Juniper Netscreen-5’s and J4300 routers!

Side note 2:

External linking is what I think has been triggering the spam filter. Look them up, and then look up a Juniper MX960.

See the resemblance?

Oh. My. Fuck.

That was the only coherent phrase I could think up at that moment.

Epilogue: We eventually settled with the customer on lost cabinet minutes, replacement parts, and future service credits.

$DT was let go not long after for poor work performance, but not before we bought him a book that had the Engineer’s Alphabet listed in it.

‘C’ was for Conductivity.

After the incident, [Customer] ended up creating a special, limited access list so only qualified technicians could access their cage.

I was on it.