Recap: Someone with a truck doesn’t know what 4x4 is? Fuck.

Oh yeah, and people were rolling up on us.

Enjoy.

Part 1

$BT – Me

$T3 - The asshat who started this adventure

$RED – Leader of convoy headed our way

$RED2 – A member of the convoy

When we last left off, I had been called out to get save [Tech 3] from himself. After doing so, we observed a small convoy of vehicles driving down the path towards us.

$T3 – Is it me, or do those look like firearms in their hands.

An astute observation [Tech 3], those absolutely look like guns.

Side note: Now, I’m a rural dweller myself, but no matter how long you’ve been around firearms or how many you own, there is nothing comforting about seeing a grouped of armed individuals coming towards you.

Except maybe if you’re a POW being liberated.

They were guns.

Shotguns, AR-15’s, a few handguns here and there. Those were all definitely real looking firearms.

By real looking I mean 100% real.

Because there was no way those guys would just be out here to scare us with fake guns. That would be too easy.

$T3 – I’m leaving.

$BT – Where are you going to go?

$T3 – I don’t know, but I’m not sticking around here.

$BT – There is one road splitting these two fields. That direction is a wooded dead end. The other direction (motioning towards our country militia) is heading directly towards them. Let’s just sort it out and figure out why they’re upset before we do something rash like drive truck at them.

$T3 – Okay.

By the time we had finished our conversation the convoy had arrived.

From the leading vehicle, a man stepped out. Early 60’s, graying, and needing a gym membership, he seemed to be the only person at our gathering (besides us), not packing any heat.

$RED – I thought I told you boys to get off my land.

$BT – I apologize, sir, we’re just checking our poles.

$RED – Poles? Bullshit. I told you I’m not selling.

$BT – Sir, we’re honestly just checking the fiber lines on these poles.

$RED – Nah, I recognize you. You’re with the windmill company. You can’t fool me. My great-grandaddy owned these lands, and by God I’m not leasing, selling, renting, nothing. These are my lands.

$BT – Yes, sir. They certainly are. But if you look at my truck, you’ll see that we have nothing to do with the windmill company.

Side note 2:

Our company and the local wind farm company had nothing in common. Our logos weren’t even the same color. The only thing that was the same was the white trucks. But sometimes, when you’re itching for a fight, that’s all you need.

By now I could see we were at a bit of a standoff.

$RED wasn’t going to budge until he was satisfied we weren’t agents of The Big Wind Conspiracy looking to rob him of his generational inheritance, and we weren’t able to provide him with any means of convincing.

Then, one of the men’s phones rang.

After a few seconds of talking and laughing, he hung up.

$RED2 – Which one of you called the police?

Both [Tech 3] and I looked at each other, wondering if he was serious. It took several seconds of head scratching before we realized that we had forgotten about the tow truck driver.

He had been crouched down behind his truck, trying to hide the entire time.

Side note 3:

We didn’t find out exactly what happened on the call until after the events of the day had unfolded.

Apparently, he had called the local police first. And in doing so discovered that the dispatcher who answered was the brother of $RED2.

And $RED2 was a local deputy.

Lucky for us, our fearless tow truck driver then called the state police, who agreed to dispatch someone out.

$RED – You afraid to settle this like men?

$BT – Sir, I’m afraid I’m just a fiber repairmen.

It was then, that I made a Hail Mary pass.

I told them the story of [Tech 3]. I told them why I was out there, how the dumbass had gotten stuck in a 4x4 truck in less than 6 inches of snow, and didn’t even know what 4x4 was.

Somehow, I managed to make it convincing enough that they believed me, and went home right before the state police arrived.

Of course, it wouldn’t be my life it the story ended there, because two days later I got a phone call from my manager.

To be continued.

Part 3 is online. Hope you all enjoy it.