Hello TFTS, I have been lurking/commenting on stories for a while and have decided to share one of my tales from a while ago when I worked in RITaaS (Retail IT as a Service) at a big box store. I work there no more, but now work in corporate IT (and run a consulting business on the side) and am working on getting my A and CCNA. I hope you enjoy it.

Characters in the story: $ST = Me; $NONL = Nice Old Naïve Lady; $BRS = Big Retail Store IT Services

$ST: Welcome to $BRS, my name is $ST, what can I do for you today?

$NONL: Well, I think my computer has a virus and I need you to clean it out. I have a lot of family pictures on it and after I attempted to clean it, it stopped working. Can you help me?

I got really excited as most users never say that they had attempted to clean out a computer when it had a virus, as most just brought it in to us once the computer became useless.

$ST: Well, yes we do. However, there will be a charge for the virus removal. Do you mind if I run a quick diagnostic?

$NONL: Does the diagnostic cost anything? I don’t want to pay too much.

$ST: The diagnostic is free and will only take a couple of minutes. Let me get some paperwork filled out for the computer, since we will be most likely checking it in for work.

I took the laptop from $NONL and glanced over it to see if there was any physical damage that needed to be taken note of before I hook it into our system to work on it. As I look over the machine, I notice that there are dried water spots on the keyboard, screen, and trackpad. I immediately get suspicious if there is something she is not telling me.

$ST: I notice that your computer has signs that you may have tried to clean off the screen and/or keyboard, have you recently tried to clean it? (Even though I had some suspicion of what happened, I thought I’d give the (l)user the benefit of the doubt)

$NONL: Yes, I did try and clean it. Since I thought it had a virus, I cleaned it with soap and water to disinfect it. Is that a problem?

$ST: (Internally slamming my head against the nearest wall, I said) Quite possibly. Was the computer on or off when you did this?

$NONL: Yes, but then in the middle of wiping it off, it turned off. I thought I had hit the power button when I was rubbing over it.

$ST: Okay. First, let me forewarn you, you may have bricked your machine and turned it into a paperweight. And second, if it did turn off on you, rather than you hitting the power button, we may have more of an issue than you previously thought.

Walking back towards her computer I was preparing my infamous “Bad News; Good News” speech in my head. The “bad news”: washing the computer with soap and water most likely damaged her motherboard and most internal components. If the computer turned off on her, then it was most likely bricked and she would need to get a new one. However, if she turned it off, then there was a chance, slim to none mind you, that it could be salvaged. The “good news”: If she turned it off (or if the computer turned itself off) I hoped the data on her hard drive could still be intact in order for it to be recovered so that we could save her family pictures (as I assumed she didn’t have backups of the data).

Making sure there were no water marks on the charging port, I plug it in. Hitting the power button yielded no results and removing the battery, so it only ran on AC power, yielded more horror on top of it not working. I make quick notes of what the customer said and what I found out. Going back to the customer, I deliver my “Bad News; Good News” spiel.

$ST: …and that is the bad news. I am sorry that there isn’t anything I can do for the machine.

$NONL: But, surely it can’t be dead? Is there any way to save my pictures from the computer?

$ST: Possibly, but the chances are slim to none. Did you have backups of the files?

$NONL: Backups? What are those? I don’t know anything about backups.

$ST: (sighs internally) If you don’t have backups of the data, we can see what we can do about data recovery, but it isn’t cheap and you will still need something to put the files onto.

$NONL: I don’t care what the cost is! I want my pictures back!

$ST: Very well, let me see what I can do. If you want to walk around the store, or look at new computers, I will see what I can do with your old laptop.

I walk back to her laptop and mentally head-desk as I begin to extract her HDD. The inside of the machine doesn’t look good at all. But the HDD looks like it may be fine. I put it into our HDD recovery tool and, lo and behold, it reads/writes! So far so good. I begin to make a tally, for the customer, of what the recovery will cost (including the data transfer to her new machine, the cost of said machine with extended warranty coverage [which covers “accidental damage from handling”], setup of new machine, and a complete data backup of new machine). I give the customer the final cost, as she had come back in the middle of the HDD scan with her new laptop.

$ST: So the total cost for everything will be $InsaneAmountofMoney. Will that work for you?

$NONL: I guess, it will have to work. Ring me up!

$ST: Sounds good. Once we ring you up, I will need you to sign for the work order and then you are free to go. We will call you when everything is done.

$NONL: So will it be done by tomorrow morning?

$ST: (Rolls eyes and sighs internally) I don’t know how long it will take, as this process can take quite a while. We will call you when it is ready for pickup.

$NONL: Okay! Thank you so much. I will await your call.

In the end, and with much head-desking and CLI’ing, all her data was recovered from the laptop and transferred to the new machine which was then backed up onto DVDs (at the customer’s request). And they all lived happily ever after…ha! But that is a story for another time.

TL;DR: Rub-a-dub-dub, old lady takes a laptop into a tub for she thought she would get it clean! No backups, recovery discs, or electrical sense, so she gets a new machine.

EDIT: Formatting for readability