So, it's a normal day where I work. Customer's can submit tickets by email, or call. Of course, we'd prefer they'd email, but they call. Being a small team, our management goes into an outright panic when we have more than a couple calls in queue or if they've been holding for a few minutes.

Every day, it's the same thing:

Boss: Everyone, on the phones, please. We have 4 waiting for 4 minutes!

So everyone rushes to the phones, and about 20 minutes later, we're back to people being available.

Boss: Ok, now we have 15 in the email queue, everyone take one please, and remember, work these between calls!

A few minutes later, we're swamp'd again, including people calling on tickets that they created over an hour ago, that if the folks assigned to email tickets were just able to handle them, would have waited 10 minutes and never had to call.

And no matter how many times I discuss this, management still insists on managing like it's a fast food restaraunt. Go to any burger joint at rush time, and you'll get through the drive thru in minutes, but if you go inside, expect to wait 10 minutes just to give your order, and another 5 minutes to get your food. Because, statistics will only measure the 5 minutes for getting your food, not the 15 minutes you've waited the whole time.

I've worked in managmenet in a support center before the bubble burst and decided I didn't want to do that any more, so I talk with my boss all the time on this theory.

Me: "You know, all-hands-on-deck doesn't really work. If you just keep the course and deal with bubbles like they're nothing, you come out at an average at the end of the day, and you reduce the number of people calling on email tickets."

Boss: "We have to keep those statistics down as low as possible, so I don't see how what you say would work. Every time I throw warm bodies at a problem, the problem goes away."

Me: "You know those statistics are really completely arbitrary. They're no more meaningful than the surveys we get back, which we've also discussed as being pointless and meaningless."

Boss: "This is the reason you no longer work in the management field, you don't want to play by the rules."

Me: "No, I don't. When the rules create bad customer service. Let's do this, tomorrow, try my way and see what happens. If we're more than 5 points higher on any metric at midnight, I owe you lunch. If we're good, you owe me lunch."

Boss: "Deal. But, this is a one-time only thing, we'll be doing it my way after that regardless of the outcome."

Me: "So, you're not open to new ideas or change?"

Boss: "Nope. And it's not because I don't follow your logic. It's because upper management wants the numbers and wants it done a specific way."

Me: "And this is why I hate corporate America."

Boss: "but you love the benefits."

Me: "It's the ONLY reason I put up with this stupidity."

I had a good lunch yesterday, but things won't ever change.