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That's strange, the whitebox is no longer in use. I changed the IP address so no one should be accessing it at all. I RDP to 192.168.2.20 and get a prompt that Martin is already logged in. WTF is he doing in there?! I get up and walk over to his office

Me: Martin, I see you're in an old XP machine. Are you looking for something?

Martin: I saw this hostname in some old documents of Jen's and I was trying to see what this thing did

Me: Well, if you have any questions you can always ask me. Let me see the hostname

VulnScan

That's strange. Did someone setup a machine to do network vunerability scans? If so, where was it. When I switched the XP's IP to 192.168.2.20 I pinged it first to make sure nothing on the network held that IP. I started going through the documentation and it looks like they setup Nessus on a spare machine somewhere. The document shows it was hosted in the actual server room and not the "Restricted" room. I pull out my phone and don't see it in any of the pics I took, I headed into the room and double checked....wasn't there.

I looked in the "Restricted" room and didn't find it there either. I went looking around and found a supply closet filled with old laptops and other hardware in plastic storage bins. Based on the stickers they were mostly older gear that no one wanted to use, single core P4's, old mechanical hard drives and RAM. I scoured the room for about 20 minutes without luck. I stopped into Jeffs office

Me: Hey, do you remember having a machine doing vunerability scans on the network?

Jeff: Yeah, we dropped it a while ago because it wasn't doing what Jen wanted it to do

Me: What did she want it to do?

Jeff: As I understand it, she wanted it to perform windows patch management

Me: That's what WSUS is for

Jeff: I don't know what to tell you

Me: So, is there a chance for the machine to get put back on the network or is it gone for good?

Jeff: I suppose if you wanted it we could dig it out of a storage closet

Me: No, I don't want it. I just want to make sure it's not going to get plugged into the network

Jeff: No. I don't see why anyone would want to plug that thing in

Not really satisfied but not worried about the Nessus box I sent Martin an email asking that he not log into any of the infrastructure gear since his responsibilities are exclusively with the hosting side of things and that if he had any questions to forward them to me. I also unplugged the whitebox and pulled out the PSU. It was a bit overkill but I wanted to make sure it wouldn't beep at me anymore. I decided that I'd leave early today, on my way out I saw Martin outside Liz's office

Martin: Hey, got a sec?

Me: Maybe, what's up?

Martin: Liz here is having a problem and since you're the infrastructure guy maybe you can help

And of course he did "air quotes" for infrastructure guy

Me: Sure. Hey Liz, what's going on?

Liz: it's probably nothing, but I can't get on this website

Oh, shit. Don't say the intranet, don't say the intranet, don't say the intranet

Me: Oh, what site?

Liz: A site my friend sent me www dot I can has cheez.....

As I reevaluated my career choice in life I pondered how many distilleries would go out of business if there was a mass exodus of IT workers.

Me: So what happens when you go to the site?

Liz: My screens crash

Me: What?

Liz: My screens crash

Me: What?

Liz: let me show you

She proceeds to open up IE, goes to the site and her screens crash, actually IE just crashes but she calls anything in the foreground her "screens". I check event viewer and for some reason Java is crashing on her machine. I load IE under my credentials and it works fine. At least it was fairly simple. I clear out her HKCU java keys, clear her java cache, run a repair on Java...still crashes

FSCK!

Ok, I uninstall Java, run ccleaner to clear all temp files, then run it's registry scan to blow away any dead reg keys. Reinstall the latest version of Java, test on javatester.org....It works. Test on icanhascheezburger, works.

Me: You should be all set. Have a good day.

By now Martin had gotten bored of his little retaliation and went back to his office.

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