So, there I was. December 2009, in the depths of recession/economic downswing, whatever you want to call it. On the couch. I had been unemployed for nearly 5 months. My previous job, as a Field Technician, had run its course after the primary company I worked with got bought out and transitioned to their internal helpdesk.

My morning went about as most mornings did. Wake up, check the job listings. Submit my resume and tailored cover letter as needed. Update my job hunt spreadsheet, see if anything was due a follow up (or 2nd/3rd follow up). I really should have been improving my tech skills and resume...but at the time I felt I had more than enough to land a job, even in the midst of the drab economy. In hindsight I realize the folly of how i went about things, but wisdom was to come later. For now, I was merely a humble job seeker hoping to be lucky enough to find a decent gig so I wouldn't be moving back to my parents basement far away from my wonderful Chicago.

My phone started to buzz. It was a number I didn't recognize, time to get to the part of the house with good reception, grab my notepad, and get my into 'professional' mode.

"Hello, is DrapedinVelvet there?"

"yes, this is him"

"Hi, this is MicroManager. I'm calling from Sales Office from Hades, Do you have a few minutes to talk?"

"Sure"

I opened up my job application spreadsheet. I had applied to SOFH....this morning? That was quick. So he takes me through basics of the job, an entry level desktop job, for sure. Sure, I've been doing IT for 5 years....but, I'm likely a month, maybe 2 away from waking up in middle of nowhere upstate NY working the counter at an electronics store in a polo.

"Well, I certainly think those duties all sound well within my skillset. I have quite a good background in helpdesk style work and I think I could really knock this position out of the park, Micromanager"

"Ok, We really like your background DrapedinVevlet. but there is one more thing. And this is important. This job pays exactly $XX,XXX yearly, and this isn't negotiable. Are you ok with this?"

Eeek. Alarm bells start to ring, $XXk a year? That's it? I made more than that 3 years ago working in a call center in a much smaller market. Ugh.

".....Well, that does seem a bit low for the market, Micromanager"

"Well, that's our budget. If you are ok with that, I'd love to schedule an interview"

Begrudgingly, It was scheduled. For the next day. I did my prep work, got my shirt and pants ironed. I had been on a few interviews since being laid off that summer, so I had a pretty good routine for these. Show up early, be eager, ask questions. I did some research. Hrmmm, why does googling SOFH come up 'scam' alot. Jeez, this isn't good. Let's give it a go.

I show up to the office early. It really is a great location. Downtown Chicago, River North. Things are looking up. It's actually a really nice building. Great views, a nice park not too far. I go up to the floor as requested, and speak to the lady at the front desk

"Hi, I'm here for my interview with MicroManager"

"Who?"

"Micromanager, Head of IT"

"Oh, Micromanager. He's in our Toronto office"

"Oh. He said to come to this office at 2 PM for an interview"

"Hmmmm, they must be doing a teleconference with you, one second"

She was off. A few minutes later, she re-appeared with a dapper dressed gentleman. "Hi, this is OfficeDrone, he's going to take you back to our conference room to set you up with a call with MicroManager" In my walk to the back, I note lines of tables with phones and stacks of stacks of paper. Everyone is well dressed, most are on phones. A few clusters of computers here and there....most with CRTs and appear to be at least 5-6 years old. I sit down in the conference room in front of a brand new video conference setup. Much more modern than anything else in the office. The call starts and things are a bit choppy, quality wise. The interview was pretty basic, and he hands me off to his boss...in London. We talk about the job, things go pretty well, we schedule a 2nd interview for a few days from now.

Things go about the same, come in, teleconference. This time with with the 1st bloke from London, meet with the 2nd bloke from London, talk again with MicroManager from Toronto. During the interview, the salary is brought up again. It is, once again, non negotiable. They are aware that it's low for the market, but "It's the budget we have to work with"

I ask all the basic interview questions. But, I'm worried with everything I wasn't brave enough to ask. Why won't they negotiate salary...at all. Why the insistence of the letting me know several times that it's a low salary and they can't change it. Why were so many people on phones....why all the old PCs? Why aren't there any other IT people in the office?

I get to my house and I run the numbers. "Well, in theory, I can live on $XX,XXX a year. It'll be tight, but I can do it."

The next day, I got a call. I got the job. Still with lingering doubts, I accepted. The best part about SOFH is it let me stay in Chicago, which, by my estimation, is enough for now. Certainly better than moving back with mom and pops at the ripe age of 27. "Well, let me see where this goes. Worst case scenario, I can ride out the bad economy at this gig and find something better down the road. I mean, how bad could it be, right?"

Coming soon, Sales Office From Hades, Part II - "Why are you handing me a floor plan?"