Greetings fellow support experts! I've come to regale you with a tale of GREAT JUSTICE!

This is a follow on to an earlier tale about a ridiculously stupid user/owner that just doesn't have a clue what she's doing, which you can read at: http://www.reddit.com/r/talesfromtechsupport/comments/1jdrpx/help_me_help_me_im_not_on_the_network/

After undergoing quite a great deal of hassle and headache associated with their migration to Quickbooks 2013, the owners of Senior Corp finally came to the realization that they were ridiculously under-manned and over-worked, plus lacked real quickbooks experience to deal with their 500 contractors. So, they decided to add a few heads to the operation.

At the time, they had 4 employees / 4 workstations (including Owner P's "server") machine. They wanted to add 3 more stations, and Intuit/QB support advised that they would need a 'dedicated server' for their Quickbooks data - something I had been suggesting for the better part of a year now (yes, I could conceivably have up to 10 stations with 7 pro but a server is clearly the way to go here). Since Owner P never listens to the IT guy but listens to QB support, she now was onboard with me and Owner M that they needed to go with a dedicated server…hooray.

So, I spec out an inexpensive Lenovo server box, with 1TB of RAID storage and Server 2008R2 with 10 CALs. Plus 3 additional workstations identical to what they purchased earlier. They have no issues, they order the stuff, stuff delivers. All is well.

Over a weekend, I get the server in and set up, move the data, etc… no problems at all, backups are running, and the only machine with any shares at all is the 2k8 box. Sweet.

Owner P also requested a second monitor since User L has two (hooked up her old non-HDMI monitor to the VGA port). So, there was an extra monitor in there for Owner P since she needs to feel special (P has her new 1080p monitor set to 1024x768 resolution BTW).

Monday evening, Owner P starts texting me like crazy while I'm at the gym:

'WHERE'D THE QUICKBOOKS DATA GO!'

'HOW COME THE QUICKBOOKS ISNT IN MY DOCUMENTS'

'I MOVED THE QUICKBOOKS FROM THE P DRIVE TO MY DOCUMENTS'

'I CAN'T LOG IN TO QUICKBOOKS, IT SAYS IT CANT FIND THE FILE'

'YOU SCREWED EVERYTHING UP WITH THIS SERVER, I WANT IT BACK THE WAY IT WAS'

'I CAN'T SEE MY QUICK BOOKS SCREEN THROUGH GO TO MY PC'

At the same time User L emails me:

'P f----d up the quickbooks somehow. Can you un-f--k it when you get a minute. Also the vendor excel sheet is gone, I think she f----d that up too.'

I come home, and prepare to VNC in to un-f--k the f--k up before dinner.

Turns out that Owner P did in fact move the QB data file and Vendor Excel file to her My Documents, and her Desktop…several times. I proceeded to undo the mess and put the files in the right place, so User L and everyone else is working just fine.

As I'm wrapping up, Owner P apparently GoToMyPC's into her machine and sees I've done work. She proceeds to call my phone, and that's when the sparks flew:

P: OH THANK GOD YOU'VE ANSWERED! Things are REALLY SCREWED UP!

Me: Well, yes they would be since you moved the data file off the server where it belongs. You can't go moving the data file.

P: But it needs to be on MY PC! I'M IN CHARGE, so it should be ON MY PC!

Me: That's not how it works anymore. We have gone to a dedicated server now…any and all shared data needs to be on the server.

P: That's not how I want it!

Me: Well, that's how it is now. Your PC doesn't have any shared folders, as it should, so nobody else in the office can see the data on your computer. Anything that needs to be shared must be on the P drive, anything you don't want shared should go in your Documents folder.

P: THAT'S SO STUPID! I SHOULD BE THE MASTER COMPUTER! MY COMPUTER SHOULD SHARE EVERYTHING!

Me; No. You just spent X dollars on a server which does all that now for you, just like Quickbooks and I recommended. You can't share with all the office PC's using just your computer, remember?

P: THAT'S BULLS--T! BUT FINE! I GIVE UP! DID YOU FIX THE THING?! AND WHY CAN'T I SEE MY QUICKBOOKS ON GO TO MY PC?!

Me: Well, it's unfortunate you don't like it this way, but it's the way it has to be. As far as your GoToMyPC access, it would appear that you have Quickbooks running on your second monitor. Did you switch monitors in GoToMyPC?

P: Switch monitors? What the hell is that?

Me: You should be able to control what monitor you're looking at when using GoToMyPC. I'm not sure what the control would look like, I don't use GoToMyPC.

P: FINE! SO HOW DID YOU FIX THE MESS?!

Me: I put the Quickbooks file and Vendor Excel file back in the appropriate locations on the P drive. Now everyone can access them, and User L is already in the system remotely from home without any issues.

P: How come I always have so many problems with Quickbooks?!

Me: Well, once everything is set up properly and the files are in the right place, you're the only one that has problems, P. L, M, and S never have problems…and every time you report a problem it's due to you not opening the right file or something else that is only on your end.

P: ARE YOU SAYING I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M DOING?

Me: No, I'm merely stating my observations from current and prior experiences. I believe you guys are hiring a new person that's a Quickbooks expert, correct?

P: YES, BUT I'M VERY COMPUTER SAVVY, I'M A QUICKBOOKS EXPERT! YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT, YOU'RE THE IDIOT THAT SCREWS EVERYTHING UP!

<< and here is where I lost it and rage mode ensued. I could have cared less about the job at this point. I just unloaded, full LBJ treatment style here. >>

Me: P, how old are you??

P: I'm 68.

Me: OKAY, P. I'm going to be direct here, so just shut up and listen. What you just said is not the case at all. YOU ARE the one that doesn't know what you're talking about! YOU ARE the one that screws everything up! YOU CLAIM to be a computer savvy individual that knows quickbooks, yet you've managed to create the largest Quickbooks CLUSTERF--K that one of their senior engineers has ever seen!!! YOU don't understand how a network works, YOU don't understand how data is supposed to be shared in an organization, and MOST OF ALL…YOU DON'T HAVE A CLUE HOW ACCOUNTING WORKS!!! YOU are the cause of ALL the problems in your business, because YOU sabotage the employees there that DO know what they're doing. HOW DARE YOU call me an IDIOT when I am the one that is CONSTANTLY fixing your screw ups!

P: <stammering> uhhh…uhhh…uhhh…

Me: Quite frankly P, you are without a doubt the most INCOMPETENT, IGNORANT user I've dealt with in the last TEN YEARS. YOU have NO business being in a QuickBooks file, and really YOU HAVE NO BUSINESS BEING ON A COMPUTER TO BEGIN WITH. YOU just told me "you give up"…well that's what YOU NEED TO DO. GIVE UP…RETIRE…GO ENJOY YOUR LIFE AND YOUR GRANDKIDS AND WHATEVER ELSE MAKES YOU HAPPY! JUST FOR F--KS SAKE, STAY AWAY FROM A COMPUTER AND LET YOUR PEOPLE DO THE WORK FOR YOU!

P: <sobbing> uhhhh…ok…

Me: Now, have yourself a lovely evening. I'm going to go eat now.

P: Bye.

At this point, I figured I was done with the company. She'd fly into a rage at Owner M and demand they bring someone else in. I could have cared less. However, ten minutes later Owner M calls me…

M: What did you say to P?

Me: She said I was an idiot and didn't know what I was doing, so I laid down the ugly truth to her.

M: Whatever it was, you rocked her world. She told me she wasn't going to be in the rest of the week and was crying up a storm.

Me: Good.

M: Indeed. Thank you for everything.

Owner M told me that a couple days later Owner P let her know she was throwing in the towel and finally retiring 'to spend more time with family'. She came in and cleaned out her office that Friday. Owner M is beyond grateful to me, as she had been trying to get P to retire for over a year and P wouldn't budge.

tl;dr - Idiot owner screws things up again, claims to be a genius and calls IT guy an idiot. IT guy verbally pwns owner into submission and retirement.