I should start by saying, I work at a small ISP. We serve under-served areas where DSL and Cable may not be provided, to a lot of farmers and small townships. When I'm not doing work in the field, I try my best at tech support. So a little after 10AM this morning this call comes in:

Angry: MY INTERNET DOESN'T WORK, WHY DOESN'T IT WORK!

Me: Let me take a look at it for you sir, can I have the last name on your account?

Angry: Blurts out last name so quick can't even attempt at typing it, insists on knowing why the internet doesn't work

Me: Could you please repeat your last name, just a bit slower this time?

Angry: Spells out his last name in annoyance.

Me: Alright Mr. Angry, Give me just a moment to take a look and see what I can come up with.

Angry: (didn't give me a moment) Theres a blue cord here, not plugged into anything, what does the blue cord do if its not plugged in? Why isn't it plugged in? What is it there for?

Me: Mr. Angry, Give me just a moment to look over my notes here and check out the unit at your home.

Angry: Is there a technician there? What is the blue cord for?

Me: Okay Sir, do me a favor and explain to me how things are setup there. Do you have a wireless router? Is your computer directly plugged into wireless router?

Angry: It is a whitebox. I have a white box, and It's suppose to just work.

Me: (Realizes that we rented the router to him, and am able to get into it for troubleshooting, NOW where getting somewhere!)

Me: Alright sir, the internet is working except to your laptop. So I'm gonna have you go ahead and open up your laptop and let it boot up and let me know when your at the desktop.

Angry: I'm there. What is the blue wire for?

Me: I am not sure, but I can see here I don't see anything connected to your router so we're gonna take a couple steps and see if we can fix it.

Angry: Groan

Me: In the bottom right hand of your computer screen do you have something that looks like signal bars, or maybe even stairs?

Angry: No I do not, are you going to fix my internet?

Me: We just need to go through a couple steps here to make sure everything is working as it should

Angry: I don't see no stupid bars.

Me: So on the bottom right hand corner of your screen there is nothing that looks like signal bars or stairs? Maybe with a X through it?

Angry: You should've said it was on the screen! (I facepalm) It is there but it says no connections available if you click on it.

Me: Okay sir, is there a button or something on your laptop that kind of looks like that maybe that you have to press to turn on or off the wireless?

Angry: No tell me where it is.

Me: Mr. Angry, Sadly I have no idea what computer you are using so I am not able to....

Angry: These stupid things are all the same! Tell me where it is!

Me: Sir, computers are not all the same and they vary the placement often on laptops.

Angry: (Yelling) Your lying to me! Is there a techinicain there that can fix my internet!!!!

Brief pause.

Angry: I found the stupid button and now its spinning in the bottom right corner

Me: Okay, wait a few moments and go ahead and try and browse the web.

Angry: It's working now.

Me: Alright Mr. Angry, this is a common problem and can sometimes happen on...

Angry: Oh I know what happened, that stupid cat was walking on my laptop!

Me: Alright Mr. Angry, is that all I can help you with today?

Angry: That'll be all. Thanks for your help. CLICK

I am very novice at tech support, so I really try my best. Some people are just impossible on the phone. Be nice to the guy that wants to help you, because that is all I want to do. Maybe I am naive in my thinking, but I enjoy someone being happy when there crack... erm, internet is working again.