Updated specific locations to be searchable, take a look at Las Vegas as an example.

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Looking for Feedback on Draft 1(ish)
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I am at the point where I believe I need some outside feedback on the system I am crafting. If you are interested, please have a look at the link posted at the end. A few notes on the types of comments I am looking for:

  1. This is entirely a draft. Suggestions on grammar, punctuation, etc. are of little help to me unless it's specifically related to a clarity issue (i.e., there's something missing, and the sentence doesn't make sense).
  2. This a highly narrative, character-driven system where "conflict" is more important than "combat".
  3. I am working very hard to be inclusive in my language, so aside from issues related to point #1, I would like to know if there are moments when I've been problematic in my language (non-neutral pronouns, insensitive language, etc.).
  4. Feedback is more welcome as comments on the document, but I would take general comments and discussion here in the post.

Overall, thanks to anyone who takes the time to read over this.

Link: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1F-Kjl-XfdCmAluWB3KmCVJWrD1pnXzhzrUXsOtV6XQg/edit?usp=sharing

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