This isn't really worth ranting about. Honestly I don't even expect anything from Sydney people by this point, but I just wanted to get this out as a PSA to anyone else thinking of trying to expand their social circle.

I'm a woman in my late 30s, and during Covid my social circle imploded (I think it was dying a slow death even before and Covid was the final nail in the coffin). This year I decided to try to rebuild my social life and I've been studiously attending a lot of social events, and even trying to organise my own social events. Unfortunately, I haven't had much success with making new friends because people tend to be very flaky (or fickle) and no one really wants to be friends. Fine. They are young and busy, so it's understandable(-ish).

Recently, I attended an event about music from my heritage country (I'm a child of immigrants and I'm very interested in music from my heritage country) and I met some people who were very keen to talk to me after the event, because I asked a question during the Q&A. One of them was an elderly lady of the same ethnicity who said she was in a choir. We chatted for a bit and then she gave me her number because she wanted suggestions for songs to sing with her choir. I thought I'd made a new friend. I texted her a few song suggestions and then she stopped replying. I was hoping to see her choir perform but she wasn't really forthcoming with the details about her choir so I stopped asking.

I kept wondering why she ghosted me and then I realised that she never wanted to be friends, she just wanted to get information from me. But I don't know why she had to be so cold. It's behaviour I would expect from a young person but I expected elderly people to be more courteous and genuine in their interactions with other people.

So I don't know. Was I too friendly? Did I expect too much? Is it Sydney? Is it any big city in the world? Is it social media? What is it?

I'm done. Just sick and tired of this behaviour. I'm not going to bother making new friends any more (at least in Sydney), it's not worth it.

(Actually, I sound more bitter than I actually am. This has happened so many times I've stopped caring by now, but I'm just disappointed/bewildered that it was someone from an older generation because I expected them to behave differently.)

Update: Somebody suggested that I might be autistic (???) and deleted their comment before I could hit "send" on my reply. This is what I wrote:

"No I'm not autistic. I am simply warm and friendly to people, and I expect them to reciprocate. This is how I was raised. My mother is the same way, she is very kind to people (sometimes too kind and helpful) and sometimes they take advantage of her kindness. I think it's this city, honestly. A lot of places in the world are not like this, and the fact that some people think that wanting a connection with another person (oh, the gall! the social gaffe!) is a mental disorder...well, I think that says more about those people than it says about me."

Ok...another person accused me of having a "victim mentality" and then deleted their comment before I could reply. This is what I wrote:

"It's not a victim mentality to expect basic human courtesy!

I'm not going to bother explaining to you. I just hope you never find yourself living alone without any family close by. Only then will you understand how cold the world is and how much you wish for human warmth, and you won't make excuses for people's inconsiderate behaviour."