'Twas the night before liftmass, when all through the gym,

Not a creature was lifting, not even crossfit tim,

The barbells were laid by the squat rack with care,

In hopes that St. Lift soon would be there;

The children were necovering all snug in their beds,

While visions of whey jugs danced in their heads;

And mamma in her 'leggings, and I in my straps,

Had just settled down for a long rest days's nap,

When out on the oly platforms there arose such a clatter,

I sprang from the matt to see what was the matter.

Away to the window I flew like a flash,

Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.

The moon on the plates of the bench down below

Gave the lustre of mid-day fallen snow,

When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,

But a jacked up sleigh, and eight bigass reindeer,

With a veiny massive driver, so lively and quick,

I knew in a moment it must be St. Lift.

More rapid than eagles his coursers they came,

And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;

"Now, Seid! now, Cutler! now, Coleman! and Heath!

On, Ferrigno! on Arnold! on, Kai! and Zyzz!

To the top of the porch! to the top of the wall!

Now rep until failure, rep until failure all!"

As dry veins that before the wild pectorals fly,

When they meet with an obstacle, they push to the sky,

So up to the gym-top the plates they flew,

With the plates stacked heavy, and St. Lift too.

And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the Matts,

The prancing and pawing of each Thick Ass Calf,

As I drew in my hand, and was turning around,

Down to the free weights, St. Lift came with a bound.

He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his foot,

And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot;

A bundle of plates he had flung on his back,

And he yelled at me to stack up the rack.

His eyes -- how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!

His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!

His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,

But how he squats! Oh, parralel or below!

The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth,

And the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath;

He had a broad face and a flat chiseled belly,

When he strolled, I could see, everyone would be jelly.

He was jacked and ripped, a right diesel old elf,

And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself;

A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,

Soon gave me to know I had tomorrow to train legs;

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,

And cranked out 4 sets of 10, that holy clean and jerk,

And laying his weight down aside of his toes,

And giving a nod, up and out the gym he rose;

He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,

And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.

But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight,

"HAPPY LIFTMASS TO ALL, USE GOOD FORM ALL NIGHT!"