Edit: My lawyer called today and said we can move forward with it preparing the marital agreement and he can have that ready in a week and as soon as we sign he can move out . Husband agreed so hopefully I’ll be living in peace in a week or so. The parenting plan can be fleshed out later. I feel like such a weight has been lifted off my shoulders.

Here's the previous update when I got the last bit of evidence: https://www.reddit.com/r/survivinginfidelity/comments/hvcint/update_to_gaslighting_husband_who_wouldnt_admit/

I went and spoke with a lawyer on the 29th of July. Our current financial situation is that we own two homes, and 1 piece of land. Our family home was paid for by my mother fully in cash two years ago and is only is her and mines names. Him and I own a vacation home 5 hours away that still has a mortgage on it. When I told him about the divorce I said you can have the vacation home (meaning I'd sign over my half), maybe you can sell it and use the money leftover to put on a down payment for a house here where we live. Initially he said he wasn't leaving our family home because it's his too (not legally in his name but he could make a claim on it).

I said fine if that's how you want to do it then I guess this is going to be a long and messy divorce. I told him that if he goes after the family home and a judge makes me buy him out bc he considers it marital property, that would mean my having to sell the house bc I don't have that money cash and it would mean the kids have to move out of their home. He was like well that's on you, you're the one doing all of this and wanting a divorce all of a sudden. If you read my backstory you'll understand why this is one of the lowest things to say.

Anyways, when I don't bite and give in the next day he wants to talk again. Now he'll not make any claims on the house but he wants me to let him live out of an RV in the back yard until our youngest is 18. Maybe he'll leave before then, but you know... And he wants to continue to be able to work out of the workshop also located in our yard.

I tell him there's no way he's going to live in my backyard after the divorce and we come to an agreement.

I keep this house. He keeps the vacation home and continues the mortgage payments. He takes all the money in our savings to pay off his debts (there's over 25K in there and 20k is money that was left to me by my father when he passed away). I'll be left with no cash but I will get the piece of land. No alimony.

Next day he comes with another proposal. He's in the process of securing a loan from the SBA that he wont have to pay back, so this is basically free money, it's not costing him a dime. He wants to give me $15k for the piece of land so that I dont have to sell it for cash and it can remains for the kids. I almost fell for it too. We had just gotten a mail offer on that land before the big falling out for $25K. So not only was he going to take all the cash in our savings, but now he wanted to keep the land too and pay me less than what they had offered.

That was a pivotal point bc I realized he was trying to con me out of the land. On top of that he said that he had promised the land that day to our younger song. Why would he promise anything if we are in the process of divorce. I asked my son about it and he had no idea what land I was talking about much less any promises his father had made. So he's willing to lie and use the kids to play a fast one on me.

Every day that passes I see more and more his true self. I have to say that the cheating is really the least of it. I don't think he's every cared about me, and now I'm sadly starting to believe that he's never cared about the kids, though he is very good at pretending.

I asked him to move out since he mentioned that he already found a place (even though just days before he was complaining about needing to live here because he's unemployed and has all these debts and he can't make it paying rent). Well he's saying that until we don't sign off on the agreement he's not going anywhere, so it feels like he's using his presence here as a means of coercion. Give me what I want or I'll never leave.