Me and my wife have been dating over 15 years, and married for almost 5.

Over the past year I finished my law degree and started a very stressful new job, which took me out of the home, but helped us financially. We also have 3 year old daughter.

My wife has been discussing opening our marriage for a while, that we have been together for so long, that we grew up together, and that she feels the need to have more sexual experiences. Which I found hard at first but understood where she was coming from.

We started couples counseling and were trying to work through some of our problems. Eventually we had a pretty bad fight in our counseling, about the open relationship question, and afterwords I thought really hard about our relationship, decided I wanted to support us to grow and try new things, and decided I wanted to give it a try.

I told my wife that I wanted to have a conversation about boundaries for trying to do an open relationship. I told her I wanted her to give me some time, about 2 weeks (mainly because we had a big vacation planned with our family) and that we could talk about it with our counselor when we got back, and iron out a plan.

We go on the vacation, and it honestly went pretty mid. I felt my wife was very distant and cold the entire time, just little things.

We sit down and talk about the open relationship, agree on some boundaries, and have a good discussion.

Later that night she asks me how I would feel if she had a date that week, and I show concern because we had just talked about this a few hours before and I find it confusing how she scheduled a date on a dating app in the past 5 hours.

She tries to cover it up but I tell her it doesn't make sense. She then admits she downloaded the app a few days ago. My stomach instantly drops. I flip out. She cries and apologies. Says she just wanted to look. Didn't do anything. Talked to someone today.

Then I find out she had the app for weeks. That she has went on a date, a week before we left on vacation. Tells me she has been flirting with multiple guys on the app.

I tell her that I need to see her phone. She refuses.

She claims nothing has been sexual besides flirting and pictures on her phone. She told me that it's unfair to tell her to stop. That I agreed to it. She then told me she will stop after we can talk to our counselor about it. I told her she needs to delete everything now.

I'm so broken. I want to get revenge. I want to do orce her. I want her to fix it. To make me feel loved again.