I am devastated. And blindsided. He was my best friend we were so happy… or at least I thought we were. We have 4 teenagers together and I’m a sahm. I have no savings and 5 years of lack of work experience but need a high paying job to take care of 4 kids. I can’t even afford a lawyer and legal aid has been hard to reach. I just have no idea what I’m going to do… and I’m heartbroken I just want him to run in the house and say he loves me and wants to work everything out. Instead he bought a pair of jeans(he has never owned jeans) and is going on a date with his AP tonight.

While I’m stuck in our bedroom trying not to completely lose it in front of our 4 kids all watching me very closely. He yells at me everyday for crying in front of the kids bc I’ve turned them against him. But how am I not supposed to be upset. My kids are older they know what’s going on.

I signed up for a cyber security certification course it’s 3-6 months. Hopefully he will at least support us until I can finish and find a decent job that can cover all our kids. I just feel so lost and defeated.

He said he had depression and I didn’t help him and she did. Basically blaming me for him cheating. And blaming me for the kids being mad at him. They are adopted from broken families with an abusive/addict father. He promised them this stable whole family filled with love and doesn’t understand why they are upset bc “he didn’t cheat on them”. But they don’t feel that way. They are furious with him. I keep trying to tell them he’s your father he still loves you. But it’s hard to defend him when he’s hurt me so bad.

This fucking sucks.

EDIT: I am based in Texas and we have been married 4 years. So I will not qualify for alimony. My insurance covers a therapist so I already called and left a message for an appointment. I cannot afford a lawyer and neither can he thankfully. So it will be a long drawn out process.

UPDATE: he is now telling me I have 3 months to leave the house. Which is insane I didn’t put us in this situation and I need time to get money and a job bc he told me not to work for five years. I have free phone consultation in 30 minutes hopefully they can help me…

UPDATE 2: I spoke with a lawyer and they said I do not have to leave the house and they can petition for him to continue paying the bills through divorce proceedings. And a petition for him to pay my legal/lawyer fees. And get child support. But who they heck has 10k for a retainer 😭

UPDATE 3: I talked to legal aid and the lawyer said I should hold off on divorce until he asks for it since he’s still paying for everything. She said to get a remote job and work on my certification and save money.( if anyone has remote work recommendations please let me know) Because we did not finish our adoption case he is not legally responsible for our kids so will not have to pay any child support. We were in the process of adoption we will not get approved now since he’s left the home. I will have to adopt after the divorce. But she said milk it for all it’s worth while he’s willing to pay. He will have to pay spousal support during the divorce process when it starts. He will have to buy me out of our house since it’s on his family’s property. He will have to pay me for half of our car. And I will be entitled to half of his retirement fund. But he won’t have to pay any support for kids or me AFTER divorce. So for now I’m going to sit still and look for a job. I’m about ready to start a gofund me to get me and my kids out of here…

I just want to say thank you to everyone for offering support during the worst thing that’s ever happened to me. It made me feel less alone in this battle and I appreciate you all so much.