I think I reached one of my lowest points in my 11 year league journey.

To add a background to my question: I'm a (currently) bronze 4 adc who has been hardstuck bronze for almost entire 11 years of playing. I've never been good, I've never seemed to improve in any aspect of the game and tbh never really tried it really hard. I played over 30k games across many accounts autopiloting most of them. I got stuck but okay, I kinda made peace with a fact I'll never be silver again.

However last month brought unprecedented drop in my (largely non-existant) skill. With my duo (silver 4) we played many games fighting more or less equally with people from low gold and silver, winning many of them. We were steadily climbing from bronze 4 where we started last split. Now we're losing - and I mean losing REALLY hard vs bronze 3-4 players and we feel like we've never been worse.

My opgg for reference: https://www.op.gg/summoners/euw/Hated by Girls

The worst part is I totally don't know what happened, what has changed, what is going on. I'm completely clueless. No matter what champ I play, what champ I face, no matter if my team is doing well or bad, my recent lanes all look the same: I just get stomped, I die a lot (which was not the case in the near past), I have laughable damage and 0 (positive) impact on the game.

There are things I consider as partial reasons for this, although I can't blame any of them for such a hard deecline. Among them:

• i started playing Kai'Sa more seriously leaving my main and most comfortable Jinx

• my duo tries various supports, leaving her comfortable Yuumi

• i started to learn and practice things for serious - attack move (which I was never really using), wave management, last hitting, in depth champion specific mechanics - I started to spend hours in the practice tool and custom lobbies, watching dozens of hours of guides, pro vods, high elo players, reading articles, reading this sub.

However I feel like the more I read/watch and learn and practice, the worse I play. I'm in a state, I basically walk up to every lane knowing already, that I'm going to lose it. I may know to do and how to do it, but I fail at performing it every time. My mistakes - even tiny ones, like missing a cs or getting hit by enemy skillshot in the first 2 min of the game - already throw me off balance, made my hands shake and sweat, make my body all tense and my mind panic and going blank. I've never felt worse playing League and it's happening in the time I really took time, effort and will to actually learn, break my autopilot curse.

And here at last we get to my question - what to do, when you completely don't know what to do. How to change things when you clearly feel something has to be changed but you don't know what and how and where to start exactly.

I'm going on a 10-day holiday this week and I'm going to treat it as a complete break from League and thinking about League, do you think it's a good idea? What do you recommend when you're clueless?

I should also mention, that I can't really afford any coach. I don't even want to waste his time. I just want to feel how I felt before - bad but steady, not spiraling out of controll in the deepest parts of the league, where even beginners with 2 month experience can beat me. I feel like a swimmer who used to go and swim 5 km every week only to find himself drowning as soon as he steps into the pool one day. Kicking the water, raising chaos around and going down.

I'll be grateful for every insight, comment, advice. Sorry if that sounds like a rant - I don't rant about any particular game, I lost my games because I deserved to lose them. I just want to know why I got so much worse in such a short time. Thank you.