So...yeah. Tonight was another bad night for me. I lost something like 54 elo overall over 8 hours-ish of ranked play.

I recently managed to get out of the 900s and into the 1100s with Eve, and now I'm sucking again (not playing Eve, because she's cheap and I obviously didn't learn shit using her).

I'm sitting around 1k games counting normals and ranked, and I'm probably 50-75 below .500 counting both (I'm 3 over .500 in ranked). I still feel like I'm level 1 compared to everyone else. I've given up a few times, come back, tried hard, and then discovered I'm totally worthless again. I can't CS without taking harass, I can't harass without missing CS, I can't build right, I can't focus right, I lose my lane to everyone all day every day. It's not fun losing all the time. If I try, I have less of a chance of winning than if I don't try and hope that someone else carries. I feel like I have no impact on the game whatsoever. It's depressing as all hell. Tonight I got so mad I started intentionally feeding, screamed obscenities in all chat, almost put my fist through my monitor, and I actually threw a knife into my door. It's getting out of hand.

Once and for all, someone out there, please, just help me start winning.