Im trying to do anything rash. I haven’t wanted to be alive since I was 14. I still dont. I just dont wanna leave my daughters. Idk if I need money or love or a hug but I don’t want to be alive anymore. Im afraid to open up to anyone. EVERY time I’m vulnerable and open about the things im struggling with people tell me IM wrong for being emotional. I get condemned for not being able to express myself and everywhere I go I feel like a burden. Someone’s project or chore to keep their attention away from themselves. Then when people start to pay attention themselves they no longer need me. Considering that I may need anything that I sacrificed to make you happy and feel secure is never something that crosses peoples mind where i am. And idk what else to do. When I’m alone i feel like a ghost walking through life dodging as many demons as possible and yet still getting hurt by other people who don’t care about themselves. I feel empty and it’s starting to feel wrong and unfamiliar to be genuinely positive in any way and that’s all I’ve ever been in the past. I feel like im dead already and I’m the only person who hasn’t realized it yet 😔