I'm a SD, or was at one point. It all generally went as expected, some great SBs, some not, but all lighthearted fun with everyone leaving happy....until she came along.

Met on SA. She was my type. Intelligent, deep thinker, beautiful and not having time for a relationship. It was fun at first, amazing connection. We clicked on all levels and hours together felt like minutes. Still kept it fun. She was in college and I am (un)happily married with kids.

The arrangement was time. All my SB wanted was my time, kindness. She loved gifts that were thoughtful. She heaped on the "you really shouldn't have". Never wanted, asked for, or accepted any "sugar".

Months went by. It got to the point of meeting daily. Long lunches. Evenings. A few lavish trips.

Something unexpected happened along the way. We fell in love....and mighty deeply too. She has a family and friends who would not accept our age difference, which is over 25y. I have a family that would react rather poorly to all of this as well.

All SB wants is to sleep next to me every night. It's all I dream of too. We're both neck deep in the feels, love, romance. And we're both trapped by our respective families and friends. We each have a few friends that know, have met us together, etc but it's curated with great care.

But we are boxed in...our feelings pulling hard on us deep inside while at the same time apprehensive of the chaos that awaits each of us if we give into it.

As the song goes....fooled around and fell in love.

Many in sugaring focus on the risks of things going badly....there is also the risk of things going too well.