Hello everyone. First off, just wanted to say that this sub has been a huge help to a newbie like me.

I’m 20 years old and live with my mother while commuting to college for financial reasons. She and I have always been very close.

I’m in a relatively new relationship with an SD and everything is going really well, we can’t meet yet due to COVID but we Skype regularly and text every day. He’s verified his identity and all my research on him has backed it up. He’s been wonderful, transparent, and has never pressured me, and I genuinely enjoy talking to this guy and kicking his ass in online Boggle.

I’ve been able to lie about the things SD has gotten me so far—clothes, perfume, a stationery set—by telling my mom I just got them on sale, and she hasn’t checked my bank account to see the money he’s given me. But I know it’s only a matter of time before she connects the dots, especially because SD and I are planning to meet up for a week in January and I don’t know if I have a good enough excuse to put her off the scent. She’s not controlling and she lets me live my life, but I hate keeping this secret from her and I’m always worried about giving something away that’ll make her question.

So... how do I tell her? Do I tell her? Is there a way to frame this (non-romantic) relationship with a 44-year-old man that’ll make her not freak out?

I welcome any and all advice.