I had plans with this POT SD last Friday. We had agreed on a time and I had made myself available for that time. I was ready to seal the deal with him. He’s not new to this, he’s very intelligent and engaging to talk to, he communicates his needs clearly….we had lengthy talks every day and he’d do his best to make time to talk on the phone together if our schedules lined up…..Until last Friday when we had plans. This was supposed to be our 2nd meeting and in his words he wanted to make sure he got me off of the site before anyone else could. I sent him a list of what my expectations and needs and boundaries would be as his SB…and he said he would review it and then he just completely ghosted me on our plans. I was definitely disappointed but these things happen.

Since then I just continued on having meet and greets with several people. I have met this man now a couple of times that I want to move forward into an SR with and I just messaged him saying no rush because I know he’s with family and it can wait until he gets back, but I want to decide terms of our arrangement so we can move forward…but we are both newbies so that makes me nervous. I’m continuing to chat with and meet new people off of SA when schedules align.

Back to POT 1, he JUST messaged me after a week. He agreed to my terms and he is offering me all of the things I wanted…his response and feedback to my list of expectations was very thorough and detailed. He mentioned being very busy and not being able to see me until the new year.

I feel a bit disrespected, even after only a first meeting, that he would just ghost me on plans…and then message me a whole week later without so much as an apology? But at the same time he laid out structured steps forward that I was hoping for…I just lost my ability to trust him to follow through and I’m worried to devote more time and energy. I know people (especially POT SD’s usually) are busy and it’s the holidays. But also in my mind…if he is as interested as he says…even if you are 50 years old and not the biggest texter, you can make time to send a short message saying you can’t make it and you have to go AWOL for several days. I feel like he just assumed I would wait. Am I overreacting?