How important is it for a SD to be able to confirm a SB identity online?

I just had a falling out with a POT I was supposed to travel to and meet tonight. I made a request that he provide my ppm immediately before intimacy (once we get in the hotel room) and he had a slight meltdown because he said he’d been scammed before by women who wanted it that way. I thought upfront ppm is standard, at least it has been in my 3 previous arrangements…. regardless of if it’s a relatively high ppm (xxxx). This would’ve been my first time traveling up to a SD I did not have a M&G with (he’s coming to East coast from London for one night) so an upfront ppm is all the more important to me. Despite the fact that we’ve had excellent chemistry and several lengthy video calls of 2-3 hours he argued that because he wasn’t able to find anything about me online I could be a scammer or a ghost or whatever (therefore he wouldn’t give it upfront but rather the next day or split it between days). He kept whining about me sending him a LinkedIn or Facebook page. Unlike him I’m not a CEO with all of my information and pictures on Google. I’ve put my social media settings so that I do not appear on Google. I mean come on, there’s no reason for me to. I’m a small town college girl. Listening to him complain about me potentially being a scammer was shocking. Obviously it shouldn’t have been shocking to me because this is real life, and even if I had easy experiences before with men more easy going than him I should acknowledge his concerns. I told him that I understand where he’s coming from and that I was sorry for his negative experiences, but that I don’t accept ppm unless it’s upfront. I also explained why he can’t find me on Google. I told him I was surprised by his reaction but that I didn’t see a purpose in trying to defend myself.

Just like he’s afraid of what might happen with his money, I’m afraid of what could happen with my body. Hell, what if I never met him again after this? He got my legal name from Zelle but I have a preferred name. I felt that that along with all the things I shared with him was enough until we met.

To uphold my integrity I decided to send him back the transportation money he gave me. While he remarked we could still see each other if I sent him any information online I decided I didn’t care anymore. I mean what’s the point? That doesn’t even fix the issue of upfront ppm.

Despite that I woke up this morning to messages on two different platforms saying he still couldn’t find anything on Google to prove that anything I said about myself was true. I just feel like this is ridiculous, in his own words he’s incredibly sexually and emotionally attracted to me and I’m sure he’s very disappointed but I’m uncomfortable and wondering if I was in the wrong.

*** For anyone who is confused, I DID NOT request my ppm for before meeting. I requested it for after I arrived and once we got cozy in the hotel room, just before he touched me. I would never ask for ppm before meeting a man/traveling to him/being in hotel room. That would be crazy!!