I (M40) in toronto, had only one SR and boy oh boy, what a horrible SR I had. I guess I met the worst of the SBs who was older than me but kept me hooked. Long story short, she was a narcissist and I kept hoping she will change until after 5-6 months we ended. I had to see psychotherapist to recover. Not sure if I can ever fully recover. I was spending xx,xxx per month on her and it was a total waste as she never appreciated.

Fast forward to today, I keep debating if I shall enter the bowl again and looking for advice from this group as this group only saved me in the past. I am scared because of my experience in the bowl, so I don’t try to create my seeking account. But I also know that no one will come to me on their own. At the same time, my life is way too dull now and I believe bowl can add some excitement.

I am confused and scared at the same time. Any piece of advice if I shall come back in bowl? And what shall I do to make this experience fun while searching, provided I shall re-enter?